Losing You, Losing Me
by VegaTenshi
Summary: The Volturi have a new "toy" and have begun to wipe out a mysterious race of people.  It falls to the Cullens to protect one of the last remaining Thomogenics and Jasper must do everything he can to keep her alive.  Set post-BD, M for language.ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry for all the false starts. It appears my computer has issues with the Save button and a few other things.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

1.

_**Jasper POV**_

I hated the Volturi. Essentially, given my family's history with them, it was a given, but in recent years I'd had even more reason to hate them. She'd left. And they'd made her.

Somewhere along the way, Aro had found the ultimate prize. A vampire with abilities similar to Chelsea, one of his most valuable assets… but his power… was too strong. Too strong for Alice and I, anyway. Aro had never made a secret he wanted her in the guard, wanted to use her powers, but I had never expected him to outright _take_ her. And then one day they came and he was with them, and before I knew it, she was leaving with them. No pretense, no sorry, no wistful nostalgia. Not even a goodbye. Edward's only saving grace had been that he, Bella, and Ness had been in Alaska.

I hated the Volturi.

I'd tried everything I could think of to get her back, and when that hadn't worked, I'd worked to get myself killed. The pain was unbearable. I missed her. I needed her. She was my sunshine. At first, I tried provoking Emmett, but Carlisle diffused that one quickly, so I tried to pick a fight with the wolves, but Bella had asked Jacob to warn them I might try something.

Do you have any idea what it was like to cross that treaty line and come face-to-face with six wolves who just sat there with their tongues out, quaking with silent laughter? When I closed my eyes, I imagined them blowing raspberries at me. That just pissed me off more.

Once, just once, I ran away and found Peter and Charlotte. I begged them to do it, but Peter refused me outright and told me to go home.

But where was home anymore? Home was with Alice and Alice was in Italy… So that's where I went. She'd seen me coming and told Aro. Felix and Demetri met me as soon as I got off the plane and thrashed me good before putting me straight back on the plane.

I couldn't even get the Volturi to end it for me. How fucked up is that?

I'd gone back to Forks after that. I let everyone believe I'd simply resigned myself to my fate, but Edward, of course, wouldn't buy it. Nosy jackass. I didn't mean that. Of course I didn't. I appreciated his concern. I just wished Alice was still here with me.

I'd done a lot of unconscionable things in my time. I don't think there was any other way to say that. No, that's a lie. I was a monster. I was the thing that went _bump_ in the night. Alice was the only reason I wasn't that way anymore. I wasn't exactly sure what was holding me with the Cullens anymore, other than some vain, narcissistic, idiotic hope that she'd come back and if I left, it would take her that much longer to find me again.

That's what was keeping me here. Even though Edward had thoroughly explained that vampire's power. While Chelsea could only undo ties of friendship and companionship, _he_ could undo it all. He could make mates tear each other limb from limb. I wished the bastard had made Alice turn on me. I wouldn't have had the heart to fight back, so it would've ended quickly.

It was hard without Alice. I didn't exactly have much motivation to maintain the lifestyle of my adopted family, but I tried. Half-heartedly. But only Edward knew that and he wasn't going to tell on me unless I slipped. He wouldn't want Esme worrying about me more than she already was. I guess that was the perk to Edward's power. He knew what could afford to be kept secret.

I'm sure Bella knew. How could she not? Alice had been her best friend. I knew she was hurting too, I'd felt it all too often, mostly when she would look at me, as though she were seeing only half a picture and was disappointed by what she didn't see. But in some ways, Bella was salvation. She let me just _be_. She and I often hunted together simply for the quiet. Edward assumed maybe we were discussing Alice or my loneliness, but really, we never spoke. Sometimes we'd sit or watch the stars move across the sky, but I don't think in the four years since Alice had left Bella and I had actually exchanged more than pleasantries. Renesmee, on the other hand, was impossible to ignore. Now the size and shape of a fourteen year old girl, Ness was every bit her mother's daughter. Stubborn. When she wanted something, no one, not even hard-hearted Uncle Jazz, could refuse her.

That was how we'd come to Port Angeles on a cold winter's evening in the middle of December. The whole city was lit up like a Christmas tree with colored lights in every window, on every telephone pole. Christmas carols blared from open storefronts. It was annoying. But Ness had wanted to see a movie and had insisted the _whole_ family go. I think I zoned out five minutes in, because I remember absolutely nothing of it, but Ness and Jacob had both enjoyed themselves.

As we were leaving the theater and headed back to our vehicles, an all-too-familiar scent crossed our path and we all knew it was not a good sign.

"Demetri." Edward hissed, pausing to scan the minds around us. "And Felix."

Emmett's eyes narrowed as he sniffed warily. "They're moving away from us."

"They're not after us." Edward answered, obviously locked on to their thoughts.

Rosalie stiffened noticeably. "Then perhaps we should leave it be." We all shifted. "They're not here for any of us, we should let them get on with whatever their mission is."

Edward shook his head. "They're not after a vampire, Rose."

"All the more reason."

"Rosie, calm down." Emmett muttered.

Edward's eyes narrowed to slits.

"What is it?" Bella murmured. "Edward?"

"Thomo… genic?" he asked.

Carlisle was more than alert now. "Thomogenics?" he asked. Edward nodded stiffly. "Thomogenics are a race of people."

Edward shook his head. "Not for much longer. They're following one of the last ones."

Carlisle's eyes widened. "We can't let them wipe out Thomogenics."

"Why? What's important about them?" Esme asked.

"It doesn't matter now." He answered. "Edward, Emmett, Jasper, can you handle them? The rest of us should go home and prepare. If the Thomogenics are in danger, we need to alert certain people to what is going on." They nodded. "Good. Ladies, let's go."

Carlisle, Esme, Ness, Bella, and Rose all sped quickly back to the vehicles while Edward, Emmett, and I followed the scent of the two Volturi.

Their scent led to an alley, over a building, through a parking garage, and back over another building before dropping into another alley. We were close enough to see them step off the building and hear the low gasp that followed. We picked up the pace and watched them square off with a tiny figure clad in a green travelling cloak, hair and face obscured by a hood.

"Come along, Darling, we don't really _need_ to go through all this." Demetri cajoled. "We simply need to bring you Italy and it will all be over soon." The hooded head shook from side to side. He sighed and waved an errant hand. "Felix?"

Before we could plan anything, Emmett had leapt off the building, somersaulted in midair, and landed with a deafening _CRACK_ onto Felix. The hooded figure ducked out of the way as they tumbled toward It and Demetri sprung for It, slamming It into the wall of the building we stood on.

Without thinking, Edward and I leapt into the fray, Edward grabbing Demetri by the neck and hauling him off the Thomo… whatever… while I grabbed… It… gender as yet unknown, by the waist and thrust It behind me, pinning It flush against the wall. It slid left and I slid with It, It slid right and I threw out my arm, catching It across the chest and locking it in place.

"We're not going to hurt you." I murmured just loud enough for It to hear.

"Let me go." A distinctly female voice ordered and I felt her shove against my back.

"We won't hurt you." I repeated. I turned to look at her but didn't make it. Some unknown force threw me bodily across the alley and I crashed through the brick wall. I groaned, shook the dust out of my hair and climbed out of the hole I'd created just in time to watch Emmett fly backward toward the street.

"This doesn't concern you!" Felix hissed.

Emmett charged back in. "It does now!" he yelled. He locked his arms around Felix and was about to rip his head off when that same unknown force yanked them apart and Emmett crashed into me, forcing both of us into the brick hole. "What the hell?" he asked.

"Felix!" the girl yelled, instantly catching the enforcer's attention. "You want me?" Edward and Demetri stopped their duel to watch, dumbstruck.

The vampire grinned wickedly, the corners of his mouth tugging upward into a sickening grimace as he stalked forward. "Don't worry, I'll only hurt you a little. We'll save the rest for if you surv—" he cut off suddenly, his crimson eyes going wide as he was held in place by something invisible.

The girl threw her hood back to reveal a heart-shaped face framed by a few loose tendrils of flame-red hair, a long thick braid of that same hair dangled over her left shoulder. Her eyes flashed the brightest green I'd ever seen in a human and they narrowed quickly. Her stance shifted, her arms flew outward from her body, and I heard the sickening cracks that our kind make when being pulled apart.

"Felix!" Demetri yelled, but too late, the enforcer was in pieces. She pivoted around and kicked the empty air in front of her, a blast of fire rending the empty space and catching at Felix's corpse.

She shook out her hair and inhaled deeply. "Demetri," she called, but he didn't seem to hear her. He was too busy staring at what was left of his old friend. "DEMETRI!" she yelled and his eyes shifted to her. "Go back to your masters. Tell them they cannot have me." And he was suddenly forced sideways into the same wall I was still half-hanging out of.

He let out a snarl as he climbed back out of the wall, covered from head to foot in concrete dust. "This isn't over."

"No, I suspect it isn't." she replied lowly, watching him scale the wall and disappear. I began to climb out of the hole as Edward and Emmett began to make a slow approach toward her. "Stay back." She warned.

"Easy," Edward soothed. "We won't hurt you."

I concentrated on trying to control the waves of fear and anger rolling off of her, but she seemed to sense my power and shot me a warning glare.

"We just saved you!" Emmett rasped and I could see the invisible force nudging him backward.

"I didn't ask for your help!" she spat back and then rounded on me. "_Stop_ doing _that_."

I stared at her in shock, but stopped trying to calm her down. "We don't mean you harm. We want to help." I told her calmly.

She gave a bitter laugh. "Right. I'm going to trust some _vampires_."

_Shit._

"You know what we are?" Edward asked.

"Pale skin, inhuman speed, inhuman strength. Not to mention your boy over there touched me with his freezing cold skin. Yeah, I know what you are."

"We're not like _them_." Emmett countered.

"Right." She started backing away toward the mouth of the alley, never taking her eyes from us. "If any of you follow me, I'll roast you like I did Felix." And then she slunk around the corner and was gone.

We were all a little floored by the encounter. That was an understatement. We sped to the only vehicle left to us—Emmett's Jeep—so that we could discuss what had just happened while Emmett broke as many traffic laws as possible to get us back to Forks in good time.

"I want to know what a Thomogenic is." Edward finally said. "Carlisle wasn't thinking about what they are and I've never read anything about them."

Emmett shook his head. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten involved. She was a tiny little thing, what? Like fifteen? And freaking strong! She just hurled me and Felix apart. Felt like I got hit by a Mack truck." Emmett would know. One of his more idiotic pranks.

"I thought she'd broken me in half when I went flying through that wall." I murmured. "I should've listened to her. She told me to back off."

"We were trying to protect her." Edward countered. "Carlisle will know what to do."

"We lost her." Emmett sighed. "I don't think Carlisle's gonna know what to do about that… and even if we do find her, I don't want to end up like Felix. Did you see the look on his face? He was in massive pain when she ripped him apart."

I shook my head. "He deserved it. She panicked when he was talking about making it hurt later." I sighed. "Whoever she is, she's alone in the world and she is _scared_. I don't think I've ever felt fear like that before. Like a caged animal about to be slaughtered. She's prepared to do whatever it takes."

Edward nodded. "I got the same from her mind. Pure panic." He grimaced. "And I _wish_ I hadn't been able to read Felix's mind. He _was_ a very… visual… graphically so… person. The things he had planned…" he shook his head and I could tell he was trying to banish the images he'd seen.

It took too long to get back to Forks, in my opinion… twenty minutes was too long. Everyone was waiting for us, Rose and Bella and Esme were agitated that we hadn't called to let them know we were still alive.

As we entered the house, Edward looked directly at Carlisle and asked, "What in the _hell_ is a Thomogenic?"

Carlisle sighed. "They are Life-Binders." Helpful. Not. He seemed to read that on our faces and continued. "Thomogenics control the life-force of all things, even vampires." He added the last part as an afterthought. "From the tiniest life-form right on up, they can bend the life-force to their own will. They can use it to travel through the earth by parting the miniscule organisms in dirt and forcing the earth back, they can strip a person's life-force and leave them a shell, they can trade one life-force for another, forcing something akin to a body-switch… their powers are innumerable and no one being is sure of the extent of their powers… they are a very secretive race."

"This one… she shoved Jasper through a wall with her mind… and pulled me and Felix apart." Emmett offered.

"She used your life-force against you. She kept it tethered to your body, and moved you out of the way." Carlisle answered.

"She produced fire." I added.

Carlisle paused, his eyes veiled for a moment. "Emberstone."

"What?" I asked, slightly irked that Edward was pulling all the information out of Carlisle's mind now.

He started. "Sorry. The Emberstones are a clan of Thomogenics capable of producing fire. Somewhere in their lineage someone mated with a pyrokinetic witch and now most of them hold that power."

"You seem to know a lot about them, for such a secretive race." Rosalie muttered.

Carlisle smiled. "I met one of them a very long time ago. Adora. A very kind woman. Distrustful of our kind, that's the nature of the race, but she saw that I was different and she was very helpful to me."

"So then why was this one so antagonistic? We told her we were trying to help." Emmett growled.

Edward shook his head. "She's not differentiating right now. She's scared, she's out in a world she doesn't know or understand, she's overwhelmed, and she's seeing danger everywhere. Whatever the Volturi have done with the rest of her clan… it has her on the offensive. She's not going to wait for an explanation the next time we cross her path."

"What makes you think we will?" Rosalie asked. Some days, that trademark negativity of hers really bugged me.

"Jazz, Emmett, and I know the scent. We'll cross it again eventually, I'm sure." He answered coolly, but the tension in the room was making me dizzy.

"Sooner than you might think." I offered. Every head turned to me and I held up a bloodstained rag. "I nicked it from her before she sent me through that wall." I smiled easily and tossed it to Jacob.

He sniffed it carefully. "I'll get this to Sam. Between both packs, we'll track her down." He kissed the top of Ness' head and disappeared out the back door. We heard a howl in the distance and knew he was calling Seth and Leah to him.

"Well then," Carlisle sighed. "I must try to reach Tanya again. She has friends in some of the other Thomogenic clans. Perhaps they can offer us some assistance."

"Yeah, or maybe we can offer them some." Emmett corrected.

Carlisle nodded. "Jasper," I watched him out of the corner of my eye. "Contact Peter and Charlotte. See if they've heard anything among the nomads." I nodded. "Edward, try to contact Siobhan. She's familiar with a clan in Ireland. Perhaps she should check on them." Rosalie and Emmett drifted off toward their room while Esme, Bella, and Ness headed out to hunt. Carlisle, Edward, and I simply took up posts and cell phones and began contacting any and all friendly vampires in an attempt to discern something of the Volturi's motives.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

_**Unknown POV**_

"Right." I said, backing slowly away from the three vampires. "If any of you follow me, I'll roast you like I did Felix." My shoulder brushed the corner of the building and I darted off down the street.

I'd never met a vampire until the previous week, but they seemed to be everything the clan elders always taught us they were. Bloodthirsty. Ruthless. Barbaric.

We only wanted to live in peace. Our entire purpose was to keep balance in the world, transfer life-force when necessary, keep things rooted and thriving, help things along. My clan never hurt anyone. We thought we were safe, no outsiders had ever found us before. That's why we didn't understand what was happening until it was too late…

I shook my head and cut across a field and down onto the rocky shore. I had no clue where I was, but maybe if I followed the shore long enough, I'd find something to guide me, something I recognized.

I didn't know how many others got out. OK, that was being optimistic. I didn't know if _anyone_ else got out. But I couldn't think of that now. I had larger problems.

Demetri and Felix. Well, Felix was no longer a problem, but Demetri would find me again. It was only a matter of time. My grandmother had told me about them when I was just a child. They had taken my grandfather shortly before my mother was born. No one had known or understood why, but my grandfather had never returned. In any form. She'd described them so well that I knew exactly who they were when they caught up to me three days out from escaping home. There was no mistaking them. I'd been _told_ there was no stopping them. I'd taken on a giant like Felix, no doubt, I could handle Demetri.

But I couldn't count on having anything like those other three vampires to distract Demetri again. I wasn't so full of myself that I would say I hadn't needed their help. I just hadn't asked for it. _'A vampire is a killer and they only want one thing'_ grandma always told me. Wise lady. Except if you were asking about cooking. Completely lost on her.

I shivered a little as I thought of those three. They were different, I could feel that. They'd honestly been trying to help. The big one was kind of like a bull in a china shop, but still… he'd held Felix off long enough for me to get my bearings… and that smallish one with the copper colored hair had kept Demetri from strangling me. And then there was the odd one. He'd been using some weird vampire power on me. I'd been scared and angry and then he did something and it started to slip away. But I needed the fire. I needed it to keep going. I supposed he'd also been helpful, shielding me, though I wished he'd moved when I told him to. He'd shoved me back with more force than I think he intended and every now and again I was unconsciously rubbing the hand-shaped bruise decorating my bosom.

I had to keep moving. No question. But I was _exhausted_. I'd been on the run for days and the confrontation with Felix and Demetri had taken so much out of me. I just… I needed to rest.

_No_.

I couldn't burrow here. Sand was too unpredictable and shifting, any burrow I created would collapse on me. But… I could back up to the mainland in the marsh just over the ridge and burrow… I wasn't sure I wanted to make camp here though. So close to where Demetri had already found me, it wasn't a good idea. Just because he hadn't yet figured out how to break into my burrows didn't mean he wouldn't and I shouldn't go around making it easier for him.

I could burrow further south… I remembered seeing a national forest south of Port Angeles on a map in a window display. Can I ask, what is a national forest? What makes it national? Odd. Back home, we just had forests. Are there _inter_national forests?

I sighed and shook my head, trying to clear the fatigue. Wondering about things like this was exactly why I needed sleep. I couldn't _focus_. The only problem was that I was neither sure which way was south, how far the _national_ forest was, or what awaited me there, which made burrowing difficult. I could come up straight in the middle of a mess of vampires and never see it coming.

I shook my head again. _I can't stay here. It's not safe. Pretty much anywhere is safer than with Demetri on my heels_.

There. Decision made.

I stumbled my way up to the marshland, closed my eyes and concentrated, feeling the ground split beneath my feet, I dropped twenty feet beneath the surface, pivoted until I was horizontal and the earth moved for me, like I was some wonky human drill. I don't know how long I burrowed, if I'm being honest here. I mean… back home, I pretty much knew where everything was and how long burrowing would take, but… this was _not_ home.

No. It certainly wasn't home.

I made an educated guess that I'd been burrowing for maybe an hour, possibly adding a half to that and decided to stop. It would take Demetri time to lock onto me again. I could afford to stop for an hour and rest. I jerked myself vertical again and broke through the surface into a mound of dense green foliage. The ground I'd just come through closed behind me and I sat down with my back to an immense oak. So. A _national_ forest was just a forest. I smiled to myself, admiring all the greenery for a moment, and then I closed my eyes and drifted off.

I have no clue how long I was asleep, but coming to was probably one of those episodes that would give an old person a heart attack. Something nudged my cheek. Correction: Something soft and wet nudged my cheek.

"_Gross_." I muttered as it nudged me again. I put a hand up, not bothering to open my eyes, and pushed on the soft wet thing, only to be met with more nudging. My hand slipped and then there was fur in my fingers and I really woke up.

Staring at me with the least predatory eyes I'd ever seen was a huge gray wolf. The eyes, in fact, kind of seemed like they were smiling. But I digress; I was too busy trying not to pee myself.

I felt my eyes go wide and I inched as much away from the wolf as I could, but It followed me with Its snout, nudging my chin, my neck, anything and everything It could. And then It _sniffed_ me. I'm talking a big honking, almost inhaled the physical-me, _sniff_. And then It sat and stuck out Its tongue.

"Nice wolf." I whispered, holding up a hand as though that might stop It from leaping on me. "Good wolf. Non-hungry wolf." I continued to slide away and was about to stand when It let loose with a high pitched bark. Scared, I plopped myself back down. It simply pressed Its nose into my neck again as though It was apologizing.

It continued to sniff my hair, my neck, at one point, It even stuck Its nose down the low neck of my gray tunic and touched the cold wetness of Its nose to the handprint on my chest.

"Hey!" I chastised and the wolf immediately backed up and stuck Its tongue out again. It barked again, that same high-pitched… thing… and I jumped, then the wolf trotted off behind a tree and disappeared.

There was a rustling, like of clothing, and then a boy with russet skin and short-cropped black hair appeared where the wolf had vanished. He smiled a goofy sort of smile and waved. He was tall… much, much taller than I, and kind of gangly, though he looked like he was growing into it. Even so, he couldn't be much older than me.

"Sorry. I just smelled Jasper on you and wanted to double-check." He shrugged his bare shoulders and stepped forward in a pair of cut-off pants.

"Jasper?" I asked warily.

"Yeah, a friend of mine." He reached me in only a few strides and held out his hand. "I'm Seth, by the way."

I took his hand gingerly, unfamiliar with this practice, but willing to cooperate all the same. "Araya." I answered. He smelled someone named Jasper on me. Who was Jasper? I certainly didn't know one. "Who's Jasper?" I asked.

"He's one of the Cullen vampires that live up the road in Forks." Seth replied easily and I jumped back, yanking my hand out of his. "Easy! I'm not gonna hurt you!"

"V-vampires!" I spat out. "There are vampires!" I paused as realization dawned on me. Forks? I'd seen Forks on the map as well… To the _southwest _of Port Angeles, and to the west of my intended destination… Far. West. "Oh _no_!" I moaned, sinking down to the ground. "Where am I? Where did I burrow out?"

Seth gave me a sheepish smile. "You're just south of La Push, the Quileute Reservation." He answered.

"I don't know what that is, Seth." I sighed.

He nodded. "Yeah, Carlisle told us you weren't exactly from around here." He sighed and joined me. "I guess that was putting it lightly."

"Very lightly."

"Well don't worry, they oughta be here soon."

"_Who_?"

Seth blinked at me as though I might be slow or something. "The… Cullens?" his voice cracked up an octave as though he feared he'd made some sort of error.

"They're coming here? For me?" he nodded and I jumped to my feet. "I have to go. I have to get moving again." I started off through the foliage looking for a clear area of ground to start burrowing again, but Seth caught my arm and swung me around.

"The Cullens aren't bad vampires. They're not coming to hurt you."

"All vampires are bad vampires." I chided.

"They want to help you, honestly." He insisted, holding tight to my wrist, but I pulled and yanked in an attempt to get free. He was strong, I had to give him that. "Don't go, please? They really want to help you!" he sighed and his eyes seemed to flit past me. "Tell her!"

I spun and nearly toppled backward into Seth, but he caught me and held me firm. There, at the edge of the trees, were _seven_ vampires. I recognized three of them from the alley, but the rest… completely foreign and completely threatening-looking.

OK, so maybe not threatening, but cut me some slack. VAMPIRES.

And there it was again. That… _calm_.

"So help me, Blondie, I will make the earth swallow you whole!" I yelled and he appeared to back off.

"That's Jasper." Seth whispered to me, nodding to the blond male I was having an emotional issue with. "Pretty sure he's responsible for that handprint on your chest... but I'm sure he didn't mean to shove you that hard." He added as an afterthought.

The vaguest of looks… was it guilt? Crossed the one called Jasper's face and then another one, blonder and slightly older looking was in front of me, scaring that crap out of me so much that I really did topple back into Seth.

"Forgive me, I'm Carlisle." He murmured. "I'm a doctor. I promise not to hurt you, but may I please have a look? I just want to know you're not injured." Something in my face must've given off a _Yeah, right_ vibe because he began again with, "Perhaps somewhere more private… Seth can come. The wolves are actually our natural enemies. He can protect you."

"Yeah, seems like he really hates your guts." I croaked flatly.

Seth smiled reassuringly. "The Doc's not gonna hurt you, Araya. Come on, I'll go with you." I shivered slightly, but nodded all the same. The handprint hurt… felt kind of like my sternum cracked or something, not that I'd ever admit that within earshot of… Jasper? Weird name. Guess I was one to talk though.

I followed them off into the distance and into the obscuring brush and trees before I opened my tunic just enough for the doctor-vampire to look at the handprint. Even so, I wasn't used to being so exposed. The laws of the clan forbid us from exposing our torsos to any but our betrothed, immediate family, and healers. Outsiders were especially forbidden and I certainly hoped he didn't need to see any more than that.

Like clockwork…

"May I?" he asked quietly. "I must lay hands on you, I promise to be gentle." I glanced quickly at Seth and he took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as the doctor pushed my tunic further open to reveal the whalebone chest plate that bound my breasts and protected my vital organs from attack. He pressed his cool fingers into the handprint and I winced as a sharp pain radiated from the point of contact. "Tender?"

"A little." I answered bitterly.

He nodded and sighed. "I don't think Jasper did any real damage and I'm sure he's sorry." He stepped back to allow me to tie my tunic shut again before continuing. "You are of the Emberstone Clan?" I nodded. "I knew an elder of that clan. Adora Emberstone."

I could feel my shock coloring my face. "That... that was my great-grandmother." I whispered.

He smiled easily. "Strong woman. You have good genes."

"You're the vampire she talked about." I muttered as it suddenly dawned on me. "We all thought she'd gone crazy in her old age."

"Certainly not! I don't believe anyone could hold onto their faculties quite like Adora." He motioned for us to head back. "I would like for you to accompany us back to our home." He explained. "You are safe with us. I'm concerned for your clan and we wish to keep you safe from the Volturi."

I shook my head. "I have to keep moving. I've already been in one place too long. I've been moving for days and Demetri still found me."

Carlisle smiled again. "Yes, but at least catch us up. We can help. We want to."

"Only some of us." I heard a female mutter and I turned in time to see a statuesque blond shift uncomfortably at being overheard.

"Don't be a bitch, Rose." The burly one muttered. It earned him a rather frightening look from her and I certainly hoped they weren't intimately involved. That could be awkward.

Carlisle placed his arm around my shoulders but didn't actually touch me, as though to guide me toward the coven. "Come, meet them." He encouraged softly and I moved slowly, hesitantly.

If I'm being honest, I've heard the stories. Vampires are unpredictable in the best of circumstances, brutal in the worst, and dangerous regardless. I was told if you moved too quickly, you'd trigger a reflex and probably end up dead. _Or worse_.

The burly one bounded forward first and held out his hand to me. What the heck was this practice of hand-holding. Strange. Weirdos. I took his hand and he shook it gently, up and down.

"Emmett." He beamed. "We've met." I nodded. "Hell of a power you got there, I don't think anyone's ever knocked me down quite like that before." He stepped backward again and allowed two more forward… the copper-haired one and a brown-haired female.

"I'm Edward." The copper one said lowly. "And my wife, Bella." Bella made to do the same as Emmett had, but Edward quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her backward.

Eh? _Oh_… Vampire power.

"Yes." He murmured. "I can hear your thoughts."

"I'm Rosalie." The pretty blond called, not bothering to look up at me, let alone move.

A caramel-haired woman came forward and joined Carlisle. "Araya, I'm Esme. It's nice to meet you." Weird. Motherly. Kind of freaky. Moving on.

"I should properly introduce myself." Said the one they called Jasper, stepping closer to stand right in front of me. He was tall. I only reached the middle of his chest. Well, now I just felt… _small_. He smiled and I could tell he _knew_ what I was feeling. That was just unsettling. "I'm Jasper." He nodded politely and stepped aside.

"Come back to the house with us." Carlisle pleaded. "Perhaps we can help. If nothing else, we can prevent Demetri from getting to you for a little while."

"We have food." Bella chimed in, as though this would be tempting. I raised an eyebrow… it was tempting, but… vampires who keep food in the house? "It's… for the wolves." She added, noticing my confusion.

I looked to Carlisle. "How far?"

"About ten miles. One of us can carry you." I inched away. Not no way was no vampire touching me again. Not no way.

"Carlisle," Jasper murmured. "Perhaps Seth?"

"That's intrusive, you know?" I suddenly blurted out.

"He only means to ensure your comfort." Carlisle soothed. "Seth? Are you able?"

Seth grinned next to me. "She's small enough. Give me just a minute." He bounded off into the brush and a few moments later returned as the large gray wolf. He knelt down and I climbed on, wrapping my arms around his neck. He gave a bark and took off at full tilt through the forest.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Please read and review. TY!**

3.

_**Jasper POV**_

Seth knew to let us get to the house first, but I think he was showing off. Kid had a crush in the worst way; as in the _Not gonna happen, she's just that far out of your league_ way. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, I wasn't sure any of us should be getting mixed up with a Life-Binder. None of us were sure how she'd react to a pack of vampires on her heels for a ten mile sprint, but I had a fairly good idea it would involve a lot of pain on our part. Regardless, I did come to a skidding stop beside them just as she was climbing off Seth's back.

Seth gave a high-pitched bark (so annoying) and I heard the first stirrings in the house. Obviously, I knew what had been going on in our absence and the protective uncle in me was… not inclined to be nice. That's putting it mildly. But Jacob and Ness exited the house hand in hand regardless and Jacob met my _Keep your hands off my niece for the next decade_ look with a _Make me_ grin. It really was a challenge some days not to let the old God of War come back for a reunion tour.

She stumbled backward quickly at their appearance and Seth whimpered.

"Easy, Sweetheart, they won't hurt you. That there is Jacob and Renesmee." They each nodded when I introduced them.

"Ness." Ness corrected stepping forward. I shook my head and she made no move to touch Araya.

"Jake, come on down here so Seth can go transform. I'm sure you can understand her reluctance to be left in our company." I added as the rest of the family skidded to stops in the front yard.

Jacob stepped off the porch and joined us while Seth trotted off into the woods. A distant howl let us know Leah was running the perimeter.

"Seth, tell her to come on in!" Jake yelled. With that, we all turned and headed inside. Seth joined us a moment later and after several minutes, Leah stalked in as well, sour as usual.

I think I could honestly say I wanted her dead. If for no other reason than to give me some fucking peace from her emotional onslaught. When she wasn't pitying herself (look at me, talking like a self-righteous ass), she was doing her best to inflict as much pain on everyone else. Hell, Sam in on anything sent her spiraling into a dimension of pissed off I have never before been to.

Once we were all comfortable (except, of course, for our guest), she wasted no time in cutting to the quick.

"How'd you find me? I told you three not to follow me."

I smiled a little and raised my hand. "That'd be my fault, Darlin'." Most people find my lazy Texas drawl comforting, even alluring. Alice always wanted me to use it during… Nevermind. Araya, however, seemed to find it relatively annoying. Maybe because I'd been poking at her fear and anger off and on for the past sixteen hours. I digress. "I picked a bloody cloth off you back in Port Angeles. I handed it off to the pack in case you crossed their lands. I wanted them to keep a watch on you if you were in the area." Her eyes narrowed and I knew instantly that she was calling _Bullshit_. I just smiled and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Araya," Carlisle interrupted before she and I could go to blows. "What happened? Do you know? Where is the rest of your clan?"

She paled then and I felt my stomach drop as I took that emotional downturn with her so hard I stumbled a bit before joining her on the couch. "A moment." I pleaded, holding up a hand. "May I?" her eyes widened and shock crossed the air, but I was glad I asked. I guess she was more receptive as long as I was a gentleman about it because she nodded and I pushed out some calm for her. She closed her eyes and I felt her relax into it for a moment, but then she held up her hand. Apparently, I was not going to be allowed too much access. Lest I forget, I am a vampire, her clan was slaughtered by my kind, and for some unknown reason, my power really makes her flip her shit. But I digress… Again.

She stood and crossed the room to be closer to the doors… and further from us. She felt more comfortable with her back to a wall… even if it was a wall of glass. At least she could see us all. I felt that emotional downturn again and braced myself.

"I'm… not exactly sure." She whispered. "There were several of us out in the woods. We were training some of the youngers and then there was a lot of screaming from the village." She swallowed hard and my stomach dropped again. Holy shit this girl's emotions were hitting depths even I didn't know existed. "There were vampires everywhere." Her voice was hoarse now, she was struggling to keep her cool and I knew if I tried to help she'd roast me. "It was chaos… complete bedlam." She shook her head and I felt a sob try to push its way through my chest as she began crying. "I ran." It was simply put with a shrug. "We all did. They came after us. We tried to stay together but they were so… fast." Her voice faded for a moment as she took me on a tour of the fear she'd experienced. "One of them grabbed me… and I panicked and burrowed—"

"I'm sorry." Rosalie interrupted. _Bitchus Interruptus_. "_Burrow_?" she asked.

"The Thomogenics use the term to refer to splitting the earth by means of the life-force of the micro-organisms within it." Carlisle explained quietly. "They can travel great distance quickly and never be followed because the earth closes behind them."

Araya nodded. "I burrowed… and he was s-s-still attached." She grabbed her neck for a moment and I felt that fear again, intense, filled with pain. Carlisle sped to her side and touched her shoulder gently. She allowed him to lift the thick braid off the back of her neck and I felt his concern at what he saw. Reflected in the glass was a handprint similar to the one I'd left on her chest… with bloody claw marks trailing the finger marks. "I managed to get him off and I just… kept going." She murmured. "I came out on the other side of a mountain range with no clue where I was… I've just… kept moving. Demetri's already caught up to me twice. I _have_ to keep moving." She was panicking again it was throwing me for a loop.

"Easy, Sweetheart." I murmured. "Empath here, you're taking me along on that ride." I was dizzy with the upswing in panic and angst. She was reaching "Caged Panther" quickly and I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep her from doing some serious damage to us if she persisted.

"Why are they killing the Thomogenics?" Edward asked. _Great_… More panic.

She shook her head violently though. "Not killing… _biting_." She hissed the last part as though it were a swear word. Everyone in the room paused and I could feel the confusion, the trepidation.

"Where's the Seer?" she asked quite suddenly and I could tell it had just occurred to her to ask. _Alice_… Everyone glanced quickly at me and the new atmosphere made me wish I were dead. Pity. God I hated people pitying me. Fucking castrate me, but don't fucking pity me.

No one seemed to want to answer and I felt that temper of hers flare so I answered. "She's been gone now. Four years. The Volturi took her." I answered as evenly as I could. It wasn't her fault she didn't know Alice was a sore spot.

"_She's _the one who sent them after us." She hissed and the shock heard round the room almost made me black out.

"But why?" Esme asked and I could tell she was near sobs over Alice.

Araya inhaled deeply and tried to calm herself. I almost helped her but I remembered my gentlemanly ways and gave a small wave to ask permission. She shook her head in the negative, so I let it go.

"Have you ever seen a Thomogenic vampire?" everyone shook their head. "It's bad… _if_ they retain their powers… it's rare that it happens… but it's kind of like having a one-vampire army… it decimates all." She was grave as she said this. "We have legends about Thomogenics being kidnapped and turned to serve in some vampire's crusade or another." Her lip was quivering now and she actually looked at me… for help? I sent out a wave of calm and I got a very small smile, as though it were meant for only me to see. "_She_ told them… she told them there was one among us whose powers could survive the change." Her voice cracked.

Edward was nodding his understanding. "Aro _is_ a collector." He murmured.

"What better jewel to add to the collection than a Thomogenic vampire?" Emmett added.

"_That's_ what I picked out of Felix's head about so many being dead." Edward continued. "They're killing the ones who end up not being _the_ one."

She nodded gravely. "I _have_ to keep moving. I may be the only one left, I don't know… but I can't let them get me." She choked down a sob and her eyes flickered back to me. "I don't want to _die_." She pleaded. "I'm seventeen. I don't want to die." Her voice quaked and Carlisle nodded.

"Someone should go with her." Carlisle murmured.

"I can talk to Sam—" Jacob started, but Carlisle shook his head.

"No. If the Volturi come here, the wolves can't afford to be short-handed." He looked at each of us in turn, considering. "I suppose I could go myself." He was muttering more to himself than us.

Edward shook his head. "Carlisle, you're needed here."

"What about Bella?" Rosalie asked seriously and all eyes were on her. "She could shield Araya from Demetri."

Bella looked somewhat uneasy and I could feel that if she could still blush, I'd have been having a control issue. "I don't have near that kind of power… to keep up a shield for that long… we wouldn't get far." She sighed. "And I'm fairly certain I'd be useless in a fight."

"Hold on." Araya drew us all back to her. "I'm not travelling with a vampire. No offense, I appreciate the sanctuary and the medical expertise, but make no mistake, I will _not_ travel with a vampire."

My mind, ceaseless as it was, was putting all the puzzle pieces into place as everyone continued to think of what was to be done and Araya's panic began to rise again. "I'll go with her." I said aloud before I'd actually thought it through. I shocked even myself, I'll admit that one freely. I had no idea why I volunteered. The girl was a walking time-bomb of emotion and that was just _begging_ to drive me up the wall. But there I stood, with an entire room of shocked eyes on me. I shrugged. "I'm the strongest fighter we have. If anyone stands a chance in a fight, it's me." Not even Emmett was going to argue with me on that one.

"I just said—"

I was across the room in a flash, backing her against the window pane so fast she stumbled and the glass rattled. I heard Esme inhale sharply, but I wasn't sure if she was more scared for a broken window or Araya going through it. "Make no mistake here, Little One, _we_ don't want you to die either. We have to figure out how to stop this and the best way to do it is to keep you out of their hands… You know _nothing_ about the Volturi and if you come across more than just one, I'm willing to bet those bitching powers of yours are going to spread you too thin. Am I wrong?" she didn't answer, but those green orbs narrowed at me to the point I could tell she was wishing me a slow, painful death. "Am I?" her chin jerked right, more to avert her gaze than answer my question. "I didn't think so." I turned back to the room at large. "Find out if the other clans have been attacked." I instructed Carlisle. "Find out everything you can. I'll check in as often as I can."

My adoptive father nodded solemnly. "Jasper can protect you." He murmured.

"Jazz," Edward asked tentatively and I immediately felt his trepidation and knew what he was thinking. "You sure you can handle this?" he asked and Bella immediately became interested in some nonexistent lint on her sweater.

"OK, see _that_ right there tells me I _don't_ want to travel with him!" Araya panicked. Pretty perceptive little thing, she knew exactly where he was going.

"I can handle it." I replied sternly. "I'll go pack."

Esme stepped toward Araya carefully. "Sweetheart, do you have other clothes?" she shook her head. "Let's… try to find something for you. I'd hate to think of you out there without any fresh clothes." She motioned for Araya to follow us up the stairs and I knew exactly where _that_ was headed. The only clothes in this house that had a snowball's chance in hell of fitting Araya were… Alice's.

Alice.

I couldn't believe she'd point the Volturi toward a genocide… but she wasn't _my_ Alice anymore… I really didn't know what she was capable of anymore.

An hour later we were fitted easily into the yellow Porsche that Edward had forbidden me to take a sledge hammer to. Fastest car we had… I would've rather walked. Apparently, Araya would've as well and she made her distaste for this mode of transportation abundantly clear.

"I can't burrow in this… thing."

"If we're lucky, you won't need to burrow."

"Sure."

"Something on your mind, Sweetheart?"

_Ooh, that struck a nerve_.

"I'm _not_ your Sweetheart." She answered acidly.

_What was that twinge? Upset? Hurt? What the fuck?_ "No, you sure as hell aren't." I answered, keeping my eyes on the road.

"I can't hide from Demetri if I can't burrow."

I up-shifted as I pulled us onto the interstate and floored the gas pedal. "I told you, if we're lucky, you won't need to burrow."

"Where are we going to sleep?"

Odd question, right? "I don't sleep, but when the time comes, we'll find you somewhere." I admitted.

"How are we going to do that if I can't burrow?"

_Pardon?_

"I don't follow."

She huffed a sigh and I could tell my ignorance was grating her. "I can actually create a _burrow_… like a badger or a mouse."

_LIGHTBULB_! Got it! She was worried about where she was going to sleep and being able to burrow because she was accustomed to creating hidey-holes to sleep in. Well if that isn't kinda cool, I don't know what is.

"We'll find us a hotel somewhere with a bed." She gave me a look that clearly told me _HUH?_ and I backpedaled. "We'll pay for a place to sleep… some place sheltered."

She was silent for several moments, thinking. "If you don't keep yourself well-fed, I'll roast you." She said after what seemed like forever… shocker… I'm a vampire and it was a long time to _me_.

"Noted."

"And I don't want you using your powers on me without my permission." She added.

I smiled. "I won't use mine if you don't use yours on me."

She glanced at me sideways. "As long as you're not attacking me."

"Of course, because then you'll roast me." It sounded kind of sarcastic and certainly patronizing, but I couldn't help it.

"And I'd rather burrow to sleep."

Un-fucking-believable. Not a damn thing was lost on us as long it could be reached by car or bought with plastic and she wanted to sleep underground. Un. Fucking. Believable.

"Anything else?" I asked, but honestly, I was afraid to know the answer.

She sighed, thinking and I could almost see the gears turning in her head. "Yes." She admitted slowly after several minutes. "Call me Ray."

From there, she tugged uncomfortably at the pink ribbed tank top Esme had forced her into. She'd kept that bone-plate thing on her chest, refusing, for whatever reason, to remove it. She seemed to like the jeans though. Probably better protection for the legs than that linen skirt she'd been wearing. Everything she owned, including her personal effects, were jammed in Bella's old school backpack. There was a garbage bag full of clothes Esme had wheedled her into accepting (that guilt trip spun me for a loop) in the trunk and I was silently thankful that Esme had picked clothes Alice had obviously never worn… there was no scent other than that of factory on them.

At least I had that small victory.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

I was travelling… with a vampire. All at once, the voices of twelve village elders, my parents, and seventeen other _families_ were screaming in my head that I wasn't _just_ a disgrace, insane, masochistic, a traitor. Oh no. No no no. My own mind was screaming it at me too, wondering what in the world I thought I was doing.

I admit freely here that I had NO CLUE.

Still…

The voice of my great-grandmother was also in my head telling me to trust Carlisle, that he wouldn't have sent Jasper if he didn't have the utmost confidence in him.

_Right_.

I don't even think Jasper had that much confidence in himself.

I glanced sideways at him as we crossed over something he called a "state line" into some place called _Wyoming_. He looked only to be about twenty years old. I knew there was danger in that, a chance to become too attached, to underestimate him; but I studied his features cautiously just the same.

Honey blond hair falling to his chin, pale skin, and golden eyes. My great-grandmother had told me the gold of the eyes was an important distinction. Maybe I just wasn't seeing it. He was a _vampire_. Wasn't _that_ the important distinction?

I guess I'd sat too long scrutinizing him for his liking because he shifted uncomfortably and said, "Something on your mind?"

_No_. My mind said in the tone of a petulant toddler. _Don't talk to him. That way he can't tell you lies and— _I mentally commanded myself to shut up. If I didn't talk to him, things would only get worse. And boring. And believe me, I could keep silent. My personal best was six months, and even then, I'm not sure the way I started again counts because I was screaming… Someone had thrown me into a tree.

"How old are you?" I suddenly blurted out. I needed to remember to _think_ and _then_ speak. The elders of my village hated this about me. I think they called it _impertinence_. No one ever bothered to define it for me.

He smiled though, a quick curling of just one corner of his mouth, before he replied, "One hundred and sixty-eight." My heart stuttered for a moment and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as it did… Checking that dinner wasn't dying before it was time? "That astounds you." It wasn't a question.

"No." I replied nonchalantly. "How long have you been with the Cullens?" when my great-grandmother had met Carlisle, he was alone, so the rest of the coven must have joined _after_ their meeting.

"Only about sixty years." He seemed to be getting uncomfortable, but that could have been his reaction to my discomfort. As I had said, his power was… intrusive.

"Where were you before that?"

"You gonna answer some of my questions too, Sweetheart? This feels a little one-sided."

I smirked. Silly vampire. "It _is_ one-sided."

He nodded. "Well, then you're not getting another fact out of me until you want to share something about yourself. I like to play a little _Getting to Know You_, myself."

"I wasn't trying to get to know you." There was that petulant toddler, coming straight out of my mouth.

"No?"

"I'm just bored." I stared out the window at the passing mountain range.

He nodded. "You want to talk about it?"

"My boredom?"

He chuckled a little. "No, about what's really bugging you." I cocked an eyebrow at him and he continued. "I know you're upset… scared. It's all normal."

"We're not having this conversation." I turned back to the window. The last thing I needed was a vampire talking to me about my feelings.

"No one else will ever understand your feelings better than me." I think he was teasing me, there was that crooked smile on his all-to-perfect face again and it made me want to punch him.

"I think I'll pass." I sighed. "I'm tired."

"You don't want to talk now because you're tired, or because I am who I am?"

"That's putting it mildly."

"I can't control who I am anymore than you can." I think I hurt his feelings. His chin jerked up in that way one does when they're offended. I just shook my head. "What? I didn't choose to become a vampire. If I'd had a choice, I'd have been dead and in the ground a long time ago."

I wasn't buying it. "Have you ever killed a human?"

He paused, considering me, and I could tell that I truly did make him uncomfortable. "Yes." He finally answered, barely above a whisper.

Nodding my head, I sighed, "That's _all_ I really need to know."

"That's not exactly fair."

"I don't have to be."

"If you're travelling with me—"

"I'm not travelling with _you_." I growled. "_You_ are travelling with me."

He paused and I watched his eyes narrow, but he didn't argue with me further. Oh… this was going to be a wonderful trip. I was stuck. With a vampire.

My actual goal in life at the moment was quite simple. _Don't die_. That included any number of ways one can usually die, but it also included the unusual one of _death by vampire_. Didn't it stand to reason then that travelling with one, being vulnerable near one (I kept reminding myself that I had to sleep some time), was the fastest way to achieve the _opposite_ of my goal?

This was all kinds of screwed to hell.

_I_ was all kinds of screwed to hell.

What had I been reduced to? Travelling with, relying on, a vampire?

I sighed. "I have sixteen brothers. I'm the only girl."

I watched the surprise cross his features and disappear. "That sounds kind of lonely."

"It's not so bad." I shrugged. "I had a lot of protectors growing up." I started picking at the pink… shirt? That the one called Esme had forced me into. You could almost see my breastplate over the top of the neckline… it was discomforting. If there were any of my clan left, I'd be killed on sight for wearing such a thing.

"It's going to be alright, you know." He murmured.

I shook my head. "You'll forgive me if I don't trust that."

"I will when you forgive me for being what I am."

I sighed. "This is going to be a very long trip."

I'm not sure when exactly after that that I managed to fall asleep, but the next thing I remembered was Jasper nudging my shoulder gently. I peeled my eyes open and glanced bleary-eyed at him.

"Come on, Darlin'. We're stopping for a while." He pulled the orange knapsack, a black knapsack, and the odd resin bag out of the back and I climbed out and followed him toward a large, brightly lit building. Even in darkness, it still shone as though it were daylight. That was unsettling. How could one navigate if it was too bright to see the stars at night?

Like I could talk. I couldn't even find _south_ two days ago. Look where that lack of knowledge had gotten me.

We were almost to the door when he stopped suddenly and I plowed right into him, so lost in my own thought I hadn't noticed him. I stumbled backward a few steps, slightly dazed and a little confused, rubbing my forehead where it had smacked into his back.

"Ow." I complained lowly, but Jasper's hand shot out and before I could even fully register the movement, I was drawn flush against his side and we were turning to face the way we'd come. "Jasper?" I asked, but his gaze was fixed on someone else, his eyebrows knitting into a frown.

"Jasper, you shouldn't be interfering." Came the familiar voice I'd been dreading.

"How'd you find us so quickly, Demetri?" he asked and I watched some emotion I couldn't fully read play across his features. Shock? Hurt? I couldn't be sure.

Demetri appeared next to the car, blocking our escape. "Don't make me tell you. There's no need to open up fresh wounds."

Fresh wounds?

"You know I can't give her up, Demetri."

"Who are you speaking of now? The girl? Or Alice?" there was a wicked glint in Demetri's eyes and I was all too aware of Jasper's vice-like grip on my shoulder.

Slowly, I placed my right palm on the small of his back and his attention immediately diverted to me. I tried to convey to him that I could get us out of this, if he could just get us to some bare earth. I don't know if he understood, but his eyes smiled a little at me before he released me.

"Fine." Say what? "You want her?" Oh no.

Demetri moved forward quickly, but I was suddenly thrown sideways and off balance as the two vampires collided with a deafening _crack_! I scrambled to my feet and ran as fast as I could toward the open field across the parking lot.

_Come on, come on! Bare earth, where the hell is some bare earth?_ My mind seemed to be screaming as loud as it could. I could make bare earth if I had to, but it would take precious seconds we didn't have. Already Jasper was trying to get to me and Demetri was hot on his heels. _Please let me find some!_ And just like that, I tripped and hit dirt. I gave a relieved laugh that was cut short by another sharp _crack_ just a few feet from where I was laying. I sprang to my feet and found Jasper and Demetri locked in a fierce battle. It looked as though Jasper was right about being a good fighter, but I couldn't count on him winning. I didn't know him well enough.

So, I did the only thing I could think of. I held out a hand and _yanked_ Jasper and his life-force to me. The look on Demetri's face was priceless, that was for sure. To be locked in a No-Holds-Barred fight to the death when all of a sudden your opponent flies backward for no reason… Anyone would be shocked.

Jasper landed next to me and I grabbed his arm and burrowed, dropping us down twenty feet and stopping. The cylinder of a hole we were in was only big enough for us to stand chest-to-chest. I worked to widen it a little. The proximity was… uncomfortable.

"Well…" he sighed. "The bags are still in the parking lot… and he's pacing up there." I nodded as the walls shifted outward slightly and I was able to step back a pace. "Don't suppose we're gonna be able to get them. You need bare dirt, right? Not like you can just tunnel us up under them." I shook my head. "So what do we do?"

I thought hard. Perhaps it had been a bit premature to burrow, but I panicked! Wouldn't you? And then it dawned on me. "You don't need to breathe." He cocked an eyebrow at me as though to say _Duh_. Bastard. "I think I can burrow sideways and out… and distract him… since he's tracking me, he'll follow where I go and just assume you're with me.

"And…" he'd caught that there was something requiring his ability to _not_ breathe there. "What happens to me?"

I sighed. "That's the thing…" I shifted uncomfortably. "When I move, this," I motioned to the hovel we were in. "Is going to fall down around you." I sighed. "I've never tried this before… I _think_ I can pull you out again, once I get to the surface… so you can get the bags." He was staring at me as though I were completely insane.

"So, let me get this straight…" he started. "You want me to let you bury me here, on the off-shot that Demetri will focus on you, and on the off-shot that you're powerful enough to pull me out again?" the plan worried him. It was all over his face. I nodded. "I don't like it."

I sighed again. I wouldn't be having this issue in the first place if he weren't here. I'd be in a burrow somewhere, curled up and asleep. "I think you're going to have to trust me." I tried to feel as much confidence as possible, but it was difficult because if it _didn't_ work, I could simply burrow out… but I wasn't sure I'd be able to find him again. I couldn't tell him that though. I was actually _worried_. About not being able to get him out… about him. Unsettling.

I watched him consider me, watched his golden eyes bore into mine, and then finally, he gave a slow nod. "Alright… but if you can't do it you burrow your ass out of there. Don't go picking a fight with him if you can't get me out to back you up." I nodded.

"I mean it." He pressed sternly.

"I know you do." I smiled confidently. "Ready?" he nodded and before I could give myself time to get scared, I dropped and burrowed sideways. I figured a hundred feet or so would be enough berth for Jasper and sprung upward through the earth and straight into Demetri's waiting arms. "No!" I yelled. I curled my legs into my chest as he hauled me upward and lifted me off the ground. I concentrated as hard as possible and threw him backwards, landing on the ground with a hard _thud_.

Concentrating on Jasper, I reached out for his life-force. _Please don't be too deep. Please, please…_ I felt him and pulled and he shot through the earth like a bullet, leaping into the air and somersaulting before landing on his feet and taking off back toward our bags.

"Darling, this will be so much easier if you would just—" I spun and kicked out at Demetri, sending a blast of fire his way. I hated not being fully trained in Pyrokinetics. My mother hadn't had a chance to teach me more than kicking. A fully trained PK could throw it, arch it, and dome it. I was left with kicking it and it was exhausting. Regardless, he backed up.

"Ray!" Jasper yelled and I heard him sprinting back. "Move it!"

I kicked another tongue of fire at Demetri and ran as fast as my legs could carry me, but I couldn't find the spot where we'd originally entered. I was in a sea of brown grass and shrubs and there was no way I could clear a pathway before Demetri caught me again.

At that moment something hard collided with me and I panicked, scrabbling against an arm wrapped around my waist and struggling to get free, but he held me fast.

"Calm down!" he ordered sternly and I sucked in a deep breath as I realized it was Jasper. He got us back to where we had started and set me down, grabbing my hand roughly. "Go."

I concentrated and we sunk forty feet before I turned us and burrowed as fast as I could toward the rising sun.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

_**Jasper POV**_

If I could pick one thing—just _one thing_—that I absolutely, no bargaining, no pleading, never gonna happen, didn't ever want to do again, it was this whole burrowing shit. Maybe Araya had been doing it too long to notice, maybe she didn't care, maybe because it was her power she wasn't experiencing it the same, but if I could, I probably would have thrown up. A lot.

Needless to say, she burrowed us a long time and we were bound to come up lost. Several times she zagged in a new direction, careful not to take us in circles, until I think the exhaustion got the better of her and she had to stop.

I have to say, watching her carve out a burrow was like watching a master at work. I was more impressed than I was willing to say, but impressed nonetheless. First, she righted us—maybe my aversion to burrowing was having to travel horizontal—and then she started parting the earth around us, like Moses parting the Red Sea, it just opened up for her until there was a space about twenty feet by twenty feet. From there, she opened tiny holes, pin pricks really, but millions of them reaching and snaking to the surface and I smelled the stale air leaving immediately to be replaced by new, fresh air. Then there was the molding. She was able to raise dirt and fashion it into a bed for herself, complete with pillow. Strange. But resourceful. Watching her at work almost made the travel part worth it. Almost.

She talked as she worked, explaining that it wasn't the most ideal thing, that of course she'd need a bath after taking a nap in the dirt (I chuckled at that… dirt nap… but when she asked, I couldn't bring myself to explain it), but that it was better than being caught unawares by Demetri. I had to agree with her there.

Luckily for her, I'd had the foresight to pack a camp lantern and some extra batteries… props from our days of pretending we went camping every weekend. It made her work easier (at least that's what she told me) and she was soon curling up to sleep.

I took the time to really think. We had no clue where we were, which was a bad thing in many ways. If I had to estimate, we'd traveled at least three hundred miles before she finally gave in and stopped. I'd let her rest for now, and when she awoke, we'd surface, get her cleaned up, and figure things out from there.

I'd never passed a night with so little to do. I should've brought a book or something and I made a mental note to pick one up. The only thing I could really do was focus on the tiny child I'd been charged with protecting. She was so small, maybe only a few inches taller than Alice. She was incredibly skinny and I guessed that she hadn't had many meals since the initial attack, so I made another note to get a few good meals in her. Edward had packed up some homemade bread that Jake and Seth weren't interested in and a few canned non-perishables, but none of that really spelled a decent meal… at least not by human standards. She seemed fairly flat in the chest, not that that was a bother, but her rear and hips had nice curve to them. Her legs were long, lean, and strong and her tiny feet looked so dainty.

Her hair, I noticed, wasn't as bright a red as I had originally believed under the street lamps of Port Angeles. There was a more scarlet note to it, darker, like a stage curtain, pulled into a thick plait, but there were wisps here and there that must've been too short to get secure in the braid, and one in particular that I was suddenly fond of because of the direct contrast to the rest of her hair. It was only maybe three inches long, but it was located near her right temple, and it was a near-perfect ringlet, where the rest of her hair appeared to be poker straight. She had a button nose set nicely into her face, and those beautiful eyes were framed my long thick lashes. Her lips were so full they had a natural scarlet tint to them. She seemed to bite her lower a lip a lot. I'd noticed in the car, but she did it even in sleep. That was concerning, but I was doing my level best to ignore any and all emotion from her. If she didn't want my interference, the easiest way for me to achieve that was to ignore it all and block it out.

I guess I really got lost in my thoughts because I let her sleep longer than I'd intended… nearly twenty-four hours. We needed to get moving again, so I sighed and stood, moved to her pile of dirt (I refused to call it a bed), and stood four feet away. I had no doubts she would roast me if I startled her awake.

"Ray?" Nothing. "Ray, Darlin'?" Still nothing. I sighed and listened for her heartbeat. At least it was there. I had a feeling the family would frown upon her early expiration with me at the wheel. Regardless of whether she was food or not. "Araya?" I leaned down and shook her shoulder gently, listening to her heart rate increase and a sharp intake of breath that told me she was groggy and confused. I backed away quickly. "Ray, it's just Jasper. Remember me?"

She groaned and rolled over to face me, her eyes narrowing sleepily as though she were trying to see me clearly. "Oh _no_!" she groaned and her arm flew up to cover her eyes. Regardless of my trying, I felt massive disappointment radiating from her. "I _thought_ you were a dream!"

That bothered me more than I cared to admit. To anyone, myself included.

"Sorry to disappoint." I knew my tone had come out harsher than I'd intended.

She groaned again and rolled off her mound of dirt, stood stiffly, and began brushing the dirt from her legs, arms and chest. When she'd gotten as much off as she could, she began shaking the dirt out of her braid. "Gonna need a lake or something." She mumbled, extracting a flower root from her hair.

When she was ready, I stuffed the clothing bag into my backpack, packed up the lantern, and put both backpacks on her back. I had a definite feeling there would be some running involved in finding her a water source. With that, she grabbed my arm and burrowed us back to the surface.

I took a cursory sniff and knew immediately we were near Baja. The smell of the salt, the citrus, and a distinct smell that I could only place in the Sierra Juarez Mountains hit me all at once. Alice and I had come here a few times, most recently passing through on our search for a hybrid vampire like Ness. I stopped that thought midway. I didn't need any reminders. We had a backpack full of reminders.

I sighed. "I know there's a lake around… further up the range." I sniffed, closing my eyes and trying to get a lock on it.

"OK…" she was about to start burrowing again, I just _knew_ it and my hand shot out to stop her.

"How about we run? Help me get a handle on the land." She looked about to argue, but shrugged and I made to help her onto my back, but she sprang away lithely.

"No way. Not happening."

"We can move faster if I carry you." I sighed and held out a hand to her. "You're gonna have to trust me, Ray. I can't hold to your terms if you won't trust me just a little." Her lower lip quivered a little and her heart rate picked up, but she slowly, hesitantly, reached out and placed her hand in mine. I hauled her up onto my back and smiled a little as her arms locked around my neck. "Hold on tight." I murmured and took off toward the range.

It took a few hours, we had to stop several times in order for me to get a handle again, and even more for climbing, but as the sun reached its highest in the sky, we cleared a ridge and found the rocky terrain sunk low into a bowl shape, filled completely with fresh water. A few trees scattered around the rocky edge of the lake provided some shade and I could smell a mountain lion in the vicinity.

Climbing down was a bit slower. Araya was tired, her arms were weakening even though I'd done my best to hold the brunt of her minimal weight. When I finally set her down on the bank, her eyes widened slightly in what appeared to be amazement and her mouth popped opened, mouthing the word _Wow_.

"What?" I asked, and it caught me by surprise that I felt self-conscious.

She shook her head, seeming to clear it. "Nothing. I've—" she thought for a moment and I could tell she was trying to find the right way to phrase it. "I've just never seen a vampire in the sunlight before." She shrugged and dropped the bags.

It hadn't even dawned on me that the sun was high overhead, or that the clouds were almost nonexistent. I'd been living in Forks too long and it showed. I had to admit that it was nice to be seen… by someone other than my adoptive family. And then that sudden relief turned to a wave of guilt. I shook my head and asked, "Are you going to be OK if I go hunt while you bathe?"

The look on her face told me there may be violence in my future. "I _can_ take care of myself for a few hours." I'd offended her pride. Not good. I could leave at this junction and possibly return to find her gone. Or she could fry me.

I had no intention of becoming a crispy critter, so I backed off slowly with my hands raised in surrender. "I just wanted to double-check."

"Well I certainly don't want you here _watching_!"

_Great_. Now the lowly, filthy, disgusting vampire is a pervert too. Fantastic.

And then the mean son of a bitch that every now and again reared its ugly head these days decided to say its peace. "Sweetheart, from what I can tell, there wouldn't be much to watch anyhow." Before I could stop it. Voice quavered a bit there at the end. Awesome. Wonderful performance, a little shaky on the dismount there, Jazz.

Her lips thinned out instantly and I knew I should go before she had warm, not so fuzzy feelings to express, so I took off back up the side of the bowl and off along the ridge. I stopped once I crested it and turned to watch her for just a moment. She was frozen on the spot where I'd left her, her cheeks flaming with… what? With what? Anger? Maybe. Humiliation? Possibly.

I felt a twinge of guilt that I'd said something so mean. She hadn't deserved it and I knew it, but there was something about her that was bringing out the horse's ass in me and I had no idea what. I made a mental note to figure it out, and also apologize when I returned.

The mountain lion wasn't far away, much to my relief. Straying too far from Araya with Demetri closing in was practically _begging_ for her to get nicked right under my nose.

I crept behind it carefully as it sunned itself on a particularly precarious jutted rock, slinking along over the rocks, jumping deftly over a crag, and then I was on it, snapping its neck and sinking my teeth into its jugular.

I hate mountain lions. They taste horrible, but all animals do really. Nothing could truly satisfy like human. Embittered again, I sighed and threw the carcass over my shoulders. Maybe I could use a decent meal as a peace offering.

When I returned, Ray was sitting in the shade of a large poplar tree, her knees drawn to her chest and her hands resting palm-down on the ground beneath her. I approached carefully, remembering the fire-kicking move all too well, and gently laid the lion nearby. She was either ignoring me or she hadn't noticed me. Ignoring would be safer for me, so I silently hoped that's what it was.

I faked a small cough to let her know I was there, but she still didn't acknowledge my presence. _Great. Must've bruised some ego with my fat-fingering the situation_. But then I realized the ground around her was no longer bare. Where once there had been nothing but red dirt and a sparse amount of scrubgrass, a layer of fine, soft rich green grass had grown in an eight-by-eight circle surrounding her and the tree. Small, sweet-smelling white flowers were popping out and blooming before my eyes and though they were nearly two centuries old, I'd never seen anything like it.

I gave her a few more minutes to herself and when she was finished, her eyes opened, her fingers curled in the grass, feeling it, memorizing it, taking it all in. She heaved a sigh and leaned back against the poplar.

"Life-Binders like to leave something behind in the barren places… something for the earth to remember them by. It helps to create harmony with the earth, it'll remember you for it later." She murmured.

"Sounds like you oughta have a good relationship built up by now." I whispered quietly. I was almost afraid to speak with my full voice, as though I might disturb some delicate balance she'd woven with her magic.

"You can never have too good of one." She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. "Did you find something to… eat?"

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "I brought it back. And before you can get huffy," I added as I watched her nose wrinkle. "You need to eat too. I figured we might be able to… I don't know, roast it on a spit or something." I sighed. I didn't remember much of my human life, but I was fairly certain I'd never roasted a mountain lion. "You do eat meat, don't you?"

She sighed again. I was becoming accustomed to the sound but it slightly irked me. Was I really that frustrating? Or was she just naturally impatient and self-righteous? She seemed to think better of herself though because she softened a bit and turned her bright eyes to me. "Yes, I eat meat."

Within an hour we had a fire started a little ways away from her tiny oasis and I'd stripped the fur and skin from the cougar. I was just about to break a branch to make a spit when she stopped me.

"Don't do that!" she tore off toward me, kicking up dirt as she ran. "You ask _permission_ first." She chastised me and placed her palms on the tree trunk. Her eyes fluttered closed and the next thing I knew, a long slender bough snapped off and fell at my feet. "See?" there was that _charming_ air of superiority again.

I gave her my most winning smile and replied coolly, "Haven't you ever heard that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

"Not for Thomogenics." She replied grimly, retrieving the stick and heading back toward the campfire.

We were silent for a long time. I handled the raw meat while she watched, that button nose wrinkled in disgust. Apparently she'd never given much thought to what was actually _inside_ the animals because she'd had to look away completely when it came time to strip the meat and put it on our newly waterlogged spit.

It wasn't until she was picking the steaming flesh apart and chewing thoughtfully that I noticed she was back in that unflattering gray tunic. Maybe it was cold comfort for her to wear her own things, but I wasn't about to ask. I could see my handprint from the angle provided by my height over hers and the angry purple was beginning to fade to a sickening green shade at the edges. At least it was healing and I hadn't done too much damage.

I was fumbling for something to say, something to break the uncomfortable silence we'd somehow fallen into, and decided now was as good a time as any. "Listen, Ray, what I said before… About you not being much to look at…" her eyebrow quirked and I knew she was still nursing some hurt feelings over that one. "I didn't mean it. I was angry and I let my mouth run away with itself." That eyebrow was still raised and she was staring warily at me out of the corner of her eye. "I am sorry." I finished.

Her eyes fell to her food and she nodded, just the tiniest bob of the head. "Maybe I was a bit defensive…" she replied softly. "We're forbidden from exposing our torsos… especially in front of a…" she trailed off, considering for a moment. "A male." She finished thoughtfully.

I nodded. "I'll always try to give you as much privacy as possible."

"I would appreciate that." She was still surveying me out of the corner of her eye. "Does your skin feel weird? Like… to touch?" I was a bit taken aback so she clarified. "It just seems like it should have an odd texture to it… the way you're refracting the light."

Chuckling, I held out my arm to her. "I don't know what my skin would feel like to you. Go ahead." I urged, but she hesitated. "I won't bite." But I did throw in a wicked little smile that she didn't miss. Slowly, she reached out and ran her index finger from the juncture at my elbow down my arm, stopping at the knuckle of my middle finger. "You tell me."

She shrugged. "_Cold_."

"Very."

"But smooth." She qualified. "Kind of like… a stone you'd find in a river bed. Not rough or jagged…" her eyes clouded over. "But hard. Very hard."

"I'm well-protected. It's why we don't get hurt as easily as humans." I sighed. _At least not physically_.

"Must be lonely though." She wasn't looking at me anymore.

I simply nodded. "It can be."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to those who've reviewed, put the story on faves, or put it on alert. I appreciate it, though I have to say, I'm honestly starting to wonder if this story didn't sound better in my head. Please review, as I'm starting to get discouraged.**

6.

_**Araya's POV**_

Something about the next several weeks didn't sit right with me. Looking back, I'm not sure if it was the fact that Jasper and I had fallen into a semi-comfortable co-existence as we moved from place to place, or if it was because Demetri seemed to have backed off.

I did know that I had begun to enjoy his company more than I thought possible and more than I should. Not _just_ because he was a vampire, though that played a heavy part, but also because one day, at some point, we would part ways and I would (hopefully) live my life. He was broken. I could see that in him. Someone in his long years had hurt him and it showed in his eyes.

I felt bad for that. I'm not saying we were bosom buddies, that would never be the case, but Jasper and I had at least come to a place where we had a decent understanding of one another. I'd become so used to him that his waking me up didn't even startle me for a moment.

It was a dangerous place to be. Not _just_ with a vampire. But with any form of emotional attachment _to_ a vampire.

I almost refused to admit it to myself. Dare I call us… friends? I didn't know.

"How did you learn the colloquialisms?" he asked suddenly, startling me so far out of my musings that I actually fell over and he was forced to right me again.

"Huh?" I blinked furiously. I'd been half-asleep. He must not have noticed because he was generally good about quiet time.

He smiled a little though. "Where did you learn our type of phrases… like _bull in a china shop_? You said that about Emmett last week. And the other day when I said we might have to try to find you a gull to eat, you said _say what_."

"_Oh_." I blushed. "The men were sent out into the Terra Mystica." He raised an eyebrow at me. So much for colloquialisms. "That's what we _tree-huggin', dirt-lovin' elf-people_ call this world." He gave me a wide smile at my attempt to imitate his heavy accent, which had presented itself more and more as time wore on, and the name he'd one day decided described me perfectly. At first, I thought it patronizing. Now it just seemed he preferred it. "They brought back your language." I curled my toes in the sand and inhaled the salt air. We were in some place called Mexico, though where, I wasn't sure. We were having to stay hidden during the day because it was apparently a sunny place… and I was not _allowed_ to wander off on my own.

"What about the women?"

"I think the only woman to ever see Terra Mystica was my great-grandmother." I mused. "She was rebellious. The elders had often considered banishing her." I picked at the sand, letting it run through my fingers. "My mother always said I was a lot like her." I sighed then, thinking, tuning out as the now-familiar ringing alerted Jasper to his phone.

He was speaking very quickly, shooting me worried glances every now and again, but I simply watched the dark waves. We'd been waiting weeks to hear any word of the other clans, but Carlisle's contacts were either slow-moving or just plain lazy. _Or… here's a thought. The other clans are as well-hidden as Emberstone_. I grimaced as that thought crossed my mind, because my clan had obviously _not_ been well-hidden.

"You're sure?" he was asking, then he sighed and flipped the phone shut. There was something about the way he looked at me that made my stomach plummet, and I knew he was feeling it.

"Don't say it." I murmured, not bothering to look him full in the face.

"Ray—"

"I said don't say it, Jasper." My voice came out much more forceful than I intended and I could tell I'd made him wary.

He sighed again. "You know… Why don't we head on up the beach to one of those resorts? We could get a real nice suite, you could sleep in a real bed… you could have a real bath… with a door so I don't have to go wandering off." He was nudging my emotions ever so slightly, his way of putting an arm around me, I think. "We'll get some room service for you… some real food… cooked by someone with some semblance of an idea how food should taste, because you know I don't…" he trailed off, letting it just hang there.

"OK." I answered mechanically. I stood and he stood with me. We grabbed our bags and walked up the beach toward the bright lights of Cozumel. Once or twice I stopped and considered kicking some fire to blow off some steam, but I wasn't sure if Jasper might not take that as an attack, regardless of where it was aimed.

The clans were gone. Makai and Durston and Braelan and Zabea. They were _gone_. If there were any of them left, they were scattered and lost like me. They were alone and confused… because I doubted heavily that they'd found a travelling companion to help them along.

Maybe that's where Demetri was? Chasing other wayward Thomogenics? I couldn't count on that.

"It's OK to be angry, you know." He murmured. I'd almost forgotten he was there.

I jerked my chin to the left and just watched the waves as we walked. I was _not_ going to cry. I was not going to lose my temper. I would mourn for them in my own way, on my own time, and no empathic vampire was going to make me lose it before I was good and ready.

At least… that's what I told myself.

Controlling my tear ducts was a whole other ball of wax though. It took some doing, but I managed and either he didn't catch the one that slid down my cheek or he was choosing to ignore it. If the former, all the better; if the latter, I was silently thankful to him for it.

But I was lost. It felt like a whirlpool pulling me in a downward spiral and no matter how hard I swam, I couldn't get out. It was so bad even, that when Jasper's arm snaked around my shoulders in earnest and he guided me up to the street so that we could enter through the front doors, I didn't even flinch.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Jasper crooned and even in my stupor, I could tell he was putting on his best charm. "Could we please get a room for the evening?"

There was the tapping of keys and then, "I only have a King available."

Jasper's grasp on my shoulder tightened by a fraction. "That'll be just fine."

I didn't pay attention after that, just let him lead me around until we were in our suite and he was sitting me down on the soft, squashy bed.

"Ray?"

I shook my head drunkenly and looked around the room. Contraptions I didn't recognize and furniture and the bed I was sitting on and Jasper kneeling in front of me. Was that worry on his face?

"Ray, do you want something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." I droned and I let myself slump over onto the bed, my legs still dangling over the side.

He nodded once. "Alright. You let me know." He looked as though he was about to pat my head, but thought better of it and retreated to a corner of the room.

I dozed for a bit and he let me, but I think he helped keep it dreamless. I woke up feeling too calm for all that had happened and as soon as I sat upright, the calm drained out of me like water being dumped from a bucket. When my eyes found him, he looked completely innocent, simply staring at me with those golden honeycomb eyes that at times were beautiful, and at times unnerving.

Standing up, I hobbled my way to the bathroom and closed the door, deciding a bath might do me some good. Jasper had explained the workings of a bathtub the week before during one of my massive fits at not being able to find a warmer water source.

I stared at the mammoth basin for a moment… It was big enough for five of me to sit comfortably and deep enough to swim in. And then came the knobs. I turned one and steaming water streamed out instantly. I turned the other just a quarter of a turn and the water cooled marginally. I heaved a sigh and stripped down, careful to hang my tunic and skirt on a hook on the back of the door before removing the boneplate.

Was there a point to wearing it anymore? Vampires could crack a boneplate and grind it to dust. My tunic covered my torso… so there was no worry there… but the point was also to bind the breasts and make me appear as androgynous as possible. I'd never liked wearing it. It was painful where it cinched at the waist and it pinched where it pressed my breasts uncomfortably to my chest.

Was there really, and I mean _really_, a point to clinging to a culture that might very well end with me?

And then my knees buckled as the realization hit me. My people might end with _me_. I caught myself on the edge of the sink and shuffled to sit on the edge of the tub. Slowly, deliberately, I swung my legs over and into the piping hot water, relishing the intense pain brought on by so much heat.

The elders had always taught us that pain was our friend. It would let us know when we were seriously injured, it would keep us awake, give us the fire we needed to survive. _It'll also remind you you're not dead… yet._

Maybe that was the way to stop the Volturi. I had serious doubts that I was the one in the Seer's vision. Out of how many people between all the clans, what were the odds of _me_ being the one whose powers might survive the change? One in what? Three thousand? Maybe more?

But maybe that was the way… maybe it _had_ to end with me. For me.

Before I'd made the conscious decision, I felt my body slide down until the water reached my chin. I contemplated my life as I sat there. Seventeen years and the seventeenth child. My brothers were all married. I had twenty-six nieces and nephews. I was not yet of marrying age, so no one had ever touched me. That was depressing. That I might die before I'd lived my life.

Everything about my existence had been following the rules and breaking them when I wouldn't get caught… but I'd never lived. I'd never made a decision that was my own until a few weeks ago. I'd never loved or kissed or even _wanted_ those things. That was really depressing.

I slid the rest of the way beneath the water, holding my breath and closing my eyes. Maybe…

It was almost like falling asleep. I barely noticed the burning sensation that started in my lungs, but then something ice cold was gripping me about the hips and jerking me upward. I screamed as the cool air hit my wet skin and struggled to get free of arms holding me too close for comfort, my eyes still closed.

"Dammit, Ray!" he yelled, but I continued to struggle as he got a large towel around me and hauled me into the room. "Stop it, now!"

"Just let me go!" I felt my panic rise. Jasper was always careful not to touch my bare skin but his hands seemed to envelop me as they locked around my upper arms and stopped me from swinging at him.

"Ray!" he yelled sharply and I stopped, eyes wide and staring at his angry face. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled suddenly. When I didn't answer he gave me a swift shake. "Huh? What do you think you were doing?"

I blinked rapidly for a moment. "N-nothing." My voice seemed so small, so far away.

"Bullshit!" he shook me again and I could feel his frigid fingers dig into my biceps. "You think I don't know what giving up feels like? I've got news for you, I've been there. And I'll be damned if you're gonna drown yourself in a fuckin' bathtub because you're feeling alone and scared! You've been alone and scared for weeks. Where the hell's that fire you're always on about?"

I felt my lip tremble as I attempted to control both my temper and my tears. "The fire's gone." It came out as a whisper so low, for a moment I thought even he hadn't heard it. "The fire's gone." I said it again, stronger, and then I felt my face crumple and the tears fell in rivers as a sob ripped through me.

I think my crying scared him, his mouth hung slack for several moments as he stood there, pinning my arms to my sides, with a towel barely covering me, while I sobbed. And then he was lifting me and carrying me to the chair, pulling me into his lap and hugging me to his cold hard chest as he sat.

"It's alright." He murmured softly and I felt him sweep my loose hair back off my shoulder. "You need to deal with this, Ray. I can't take the pain away. It'll just be worse when I stop."

I continued to sob well into the night and Jasper simply held me, keeping my towel drawn tight across me, a hand cradling my head, but otherwise detached as I screamed and cried.

When I awoke in the morning, I was bundled up in the bed, a mountain of covers piled on top of me. I rolled over to find Jasper out on the balcony watching storm clouds roll in. He gave me a slight wave, never turning, and I made haste to the bathroom to get dressed.

We didn't speak for several days.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Once again, please review. Thank you!**

7.

_**Jasper POV**_

Never in all my years had I ever wished more to be human… to be warm and soft… than when Ray needed it from me most… Not just wanted, _needed_. I hadn't known what to expect when she'd gone into the bathroom, but I'd felt so much despair it didn't seem she or I or both of us were big enough to contain it. And then… nothing. And I knew she'd given up.

It pissed me the hell off. Even though I understood the why's and wherefore's, I couldn't just let her kill herself. Truth be told, there were easier ways. I'd been around long enough to know how creative humans could get with that sort of thing and I made a note to keep her away from sharp objects, rope, anything.

But holding her, listening to her cry, had almost done me in. Even though there were warning bells in my head telling me not to touch her, not to get too close. I'd always been scared of my bloodlust and my lack of control, but for some reason, Araya's scent, while nice, had never said "meal" to me.

Feeling her despair nearly broke me all over again and it felt as though a tiny chisel and hammer were working away at the walls I'd built up around my heart since Alice left.

In that moment, if only for just an hour, I wanted to be human and warm and _real_ for her, so that I could comfort her like she deserved to be comforted. I held her for a long while after she fell asleep, I enjoyed that time… listening to her breathe, watching her tiny hand curled around a part of my shirt she'd fisted. But then she'd started to shiver and I knew I'd have to cover her up and get her warm.

The rest of the night was full of nothing but bitter thoughts, loneliness, and a growing discomfort in the fact that that tiny little human had somehow woven her way into my life, just like she wove herself into every place we stopped, and I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to get her out.

That notion sat so unsteadily with me that I couldn't bring myself to speak for several days. I was just too wrapped up in my own shit, I barely registered Araya's moods, but she didn't seem to mind the quiet. She barely looked at me, which only served to blacken my mood more.

I wasn't, however, leaving her unsupervised anymore. Whenever she needed a bath, I was never far away, not that I'd made her aware of my prowling. I'd have been in pieces and set ablaze faster than I could count to one if she knew how much of her I'd seen. When I'd pulled her from the bath, I hadn't registered anything of her body, but by the third day, I knew every curve her body had, every scar; I'd memorized one of the obvious reasons their laws required them to keep their torsos covered: a clan tattoo of writings and glyphs spreading down her spin before spreading in a horizontal line at her hips. Her thighs had the same sort of tattoos running on the insides, and there were several individual glyphs tattooed over her right and left bottom ribs. It was almost sadistic, putting a child through that much pain. And she'd kill me outright if she knew that I'd seen.

It wasn't until the seventh day that I finally opened my mouth. "Ray, I need to hunt."

She was lying in a patch of grass she'd "helped along", her nimble fingers curling through the air. The action would've been completely inane except that as her fingers curled, so did the grass, bending and swaying with her motions. I doubt she even noticed, all she did was nod.

I sighed. This would probably hurt. "Ray, I'm not leaving you alone… I need you to come _with_ me to hunt." She made no sign she'd heard me. "Ray? Did you hear what I said? I'm not leaving you alone." I paused. "I haven't left you _alone_ for several days. I've been hovering… the _entire _time." Still nothing. "You want to tell me about the tattoos?" I thought for sure I'd be alight with that one, but she yawned and rolled over onto her stomach. "Ray, please." I sighed.

She huffed and stood up and for the first time, I noticed her eyes. She really had given up. There was no spark, no fire… just… emptiness. And I'd been too busy running myself in circles to notice it. I stood and sniffed, instantly picking up the scent of mountain lion nearby. My eyes jerked to the ridge above us to find the large cat leering at us, but it could smell me, it knew _I_ was the predator. I grabbed Ray and leapt deftly into one of the larger trees surrounding us, placing her lightly on a thick bough. She simply sat down with her back to the trunk, her eyes sliding closed, and I stepped back off the branch to stalk my prey.

The optimistic part of me thought that maybe if she saw a flicker of life in _something_, maybe her spark would come back. Stupidest. Notion. Ever. When I returned to the base of the tree a half hour later, she was hanging upside-down from the branch I'd left her on, her eyes closed, her arms dangling straight down. There wasn't anything to indicate she was doing more than entertaining herself until she just _dropped_. She fucking dropped herself off the damn branch! I caught her deftly and her eyes sprung open in surprise.

"This is gonna get old quick, you keep this up." I snarled, plopping her on the ground. She simply sat down at the base of the tree and I felt myself sigh. Ray was rubbing off on me. "I'm not gonna keep doing this, Sweetheart. You need to fucking deal. I know that's harsh and I know it sucks, but there's gotta come a point where you snap out of it." She just stared at her feet. "Dammit, Ray! I thought you didn't want to die!" I half-yelled, but it was enough to make her jump a little.

"I don't." she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Then why the hell are you pulling this shit? One of these days, I'm not gonna be here to catch you or yank your scrawny ass out of the tub."

She just shook her head wearily and sank to her knees. "I just want to go _home_." She sniffed. "I'm tired of this. I want it done."

I sat down next to her and tentatively put my arm around her shoulder, hugging her to me. "I know the feeling better than you can ever imagine." I murmured into her hair. "But that doesn't mean you just give up."

She snorted a laugh and shrugged me off. "_Right_."

"What? Of course I'm right." I replied defensively.

"Jasper, do you hear yourself? You're so broken you don't know where half your pieces are anymore." She glowered at me.

I blinked furiously, processing what she'd just said. "What are you talking about?"

"The Seer." She sneered the word and I suppressed a growl. "Alice, right? She was yours." I didn't answer. "And they have her now and she left you… so what? You're gonna lecture me with the whole _keep on keepin' on_ while you muddle your way through the rest of your existence?"

"We're not talking about me." I snarled.

"It's all about you. It's all connected to you. Your mate sends the Volturi after my people and you what? Volunteer to be my personal protector. You don't think I know why you did that? You're hoping you get close enough to maybe get her back, persuade her, or maybe she'll fall right back in love with you. I'm not completely dense."

FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK.

I didn't know what to say to that. Honestly, what was there say? She was right. That's why I'd volunteered, that's why I worked so hard to control my bloodlust, stay on her good side, keep her safe, keep us moving…

But I hadn't thought about getting Alice back for weeks. I'd thought about her, sure, but I hadn't thought about getting her back. Somehow, Ray had managed to wheedle herself into the dark recesses that only Alice had ever before reached, and now Ray was the only one there.

There was a dryness to my throat I couldn't blame on the thirst, which only served to unnerve me. "That's… how it started, yes." I whispered, but she was no longer paying attention to me. Her eyes had slid closed again and she'd leaned her head back against the tree.

"I want to go home, Jasper." She murmured. "I think I need to see it all for myself."

"Demetri will expect—" I started to protest, but she cut me off.

"Screw Demetri!" there was that fire. I knew it was still there. "I need to see my home… what they did to it." She sighed. "I need to see if any of the glyphs are still there." She huffed. "Maybe I can learn something… something more than just the kicking… maybe something that'll help me survive."

I stared at her, appraising the set of her jaw, the resolve etched from the furrow of her brow to the pout of her lips. I probably wouldn't win if I argued. I knew that.

"If you don't want to go, I understand. It's a risk for you as well." She said. "I can go myself."

Well, didn't that just let me off the hook. Too fucking bad I actually _cared_ if she lived or died.

"We'll go." I whispered hoarsely. "Just… let's wait until the morning."

She gave a small smile, though her eyes were still closed. "Hoping I'll get scared enough to back out?"

"Sort of."

She shook her head and began plucking at her tunic, trying to get some air across her chest. I hadn't even noticed the temperature or the fact that sweat was beading on her forehead.

"Ray, the clothes Esme packed for you are probably cooler than that tunic."

"Probably."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Then why don't you wear them? You've been wearing those same clothes for weeks now."

She pulled a face but still didn't open her eyes. "It's not like I don't wash them. They get washed every time I have a water source."

"But Esme packed you a bunch of clothes… so that you wouldn't have to wash them every day." I countered.

Her eyes opened and immediately found something to watch off in the distance. "They were _her_ clothes."

What the shit?

"Pardon?"

"Your mate's. They were hers." Oh fuck me sideways.

"So?"

She heaved a sigh and her eyes rolled skyward. Sometimes she really was frustrating when she did that. "So I saw the look on your face when Esme made me put them on. Isn't it just easier if I wear my own things?"

_Oh for the love of all that's warm and squishy_. Seriously.

"So you've been washing your ratty old tunic and skirt every day for weeks so that I don't have to see you in Alice's clothes?" her eyes dropped to her lap. "Ray, that's…" I had to think a minute. "Kinda sweet, but not necessary." Her eyes rolled at that. "It's not. I'm fine. The clothes weren't getting worn. Better you wear them than they collect dust and get eaten by moths."

She was watching me carefully out of the corner of her eye. It amazed me that she rarely if ever looked me full in the face, but she seemed to learn more about me from watching me at the current angle. It was weird.

"You're sure?" she finally asked. I nodded. "Fine." And then her eyes were closed again, her head against the tree trunk.

"You hungry?" her head shook from side-to-side.

We lapsed into silence until nightfall. I'd used the time to get a handle on Araya's emotions, and while giving up no longer seemed to be an option to her, I felt myself sinking into a dark place right along with her… I wasn't sure what to say anymore.

I rarely spoke at home, and even then, it had always been easiest to speak to Alice. Since… well, let's just say I wasn't verbose. My word count with Araya totaled more than in the past four years. That alone was a feat in and of itself… but what was there to say?

_I know where you're coming from_?

_It's OK to be scared_?

I'd said those things. I couldn't guarantee she'd _heard_ them, but I'd said them.

And aside from the overwhelming darkness, the loneliness, the survivor's guilt, the general guilt, the fear, there were feelings I really _wish_ I wasn't privy to. Feelings only a teenage girl could feel at a time like this… well… a teenage girl and the empath sitting next to her.

_Embarassment_. At what?

_Lust_. For who?

_Friendship_. That one's definitely not about me. She's made that one clear.

And then suddenly her cheeks flamed and she stood and stormed off toward the river we'd chosen to camp near for the night. It caught me off-guard, but I suddenly understood why as I realized my hand had been outstretched, reaching as though to wrap around her shoulders. I let her go, so long as she was in my sight. I hadn't meant to intrude on her feelings and I certainly hadn't meant to lose myself in them.

No, that certainly had not been my intention.

Even so, I couldn't help but smile a little. Araya… Hard-hearted little Ray, the one I'd christened "Mouth of the South" during a brief stop in Texas (apparently the men took the swear words back to the clan too), the one who made no bones about the fact that she'd "roast me like Felix" if I looked at her wrong, the one who wrinkled her nose every time I had to hunt (remembering her original threat if I didn't keep myself fed), the one who'd let her curiosity get the better of her for only a moment that day in the sunshine… Araya actually thought kindly of me on occasion.

I didn't know what to do with that.

I was fairly certain she'd roast me if I even mentioned it, so that was out.

I mean… Fuck my existence, what the hell could I say to that, even if she wouldn't roast me?

"_Sorry, you're not my type_." Right. Blood type. I just knew somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind, that dark little amendment would've followed that statement.

"_I know how you feel_." Aside from being completely generic as well as humiliating, considering my powers, who the hell wants to hear that, even if the speaker ISN'T an empath?

Before I could go much further in my thoughts, she was back, walking briskly toward me, but she stopped ten feet away, as though that was a safe enough distance.

"I'm going to bed." The tone startled me… Like I'd offended her. Well… I wasn't on fire yet…

I nodded and made to stand, but she immediately burrowed down and I was left sitting there like a moron. Apparently I wasn't welcome tonight.

I tried to tell myself she just needed time, that everything was hitting her at once and she was more vulnerable and emotional, but that didn't take the sting out. Even if we weren't friends, there were times… quiet moments between us… where it was almost as if we were.

I sighed, focusing in on her heartbeat. She was only about ten feet underground. Her pulse was rapid and erratic, even muffled I couldn't miss it, and then I was suddenly all-too-aware of why I wasn't welcome tonight. Even through ten feet of dirt, there was no mistaking the sobs.

I listened for hours, cringing occasionally as she sobbed and sometimes yelled and screamed. Apparently she didn't have as good a handle as I gave her credit for, but at least she wasn't shutting down anymore. Part of me wished I could help… that she'd let me hold her again… and the unbidden thoughts that followed that one were quickly squashed with a firm _No_.

But for some reason, I didn't like that answer anymore.

It didn't sit well with me. I mean, come the hell on… a human? What was this? Some sappy romance novel? I certainly wasn't Edward… I couldn't handle a human as carefully as was required and still keep my bloodlust under control.

But then I remembered holding her, stroking her hair, smiling at how easily and perfectly her head fit into the crook of my neck. The bloodlust wasn't a problem and I felt my brow furrow as I wondered why. Araya smelled… _amazing_…like honey and clover with a woodsy undertone… _cedar_. Honey, clover, and cedar. Under normal circumstances, that scent would've sent the fire in my throat into an uproar, but not with Araya. For some reason, the scent seemed to calm me… almost as though the thirst were already quenched and there was no need for blood.

I had relished the feel of her forehead pressed against my neck, the way she fit so easily into my arms, the warmth of her skin… I shook myself out of those thoughts. _No_.

I still didn't like the sound of that answer.

She didn't want to die. And I'd be damned if I'd put her in harm's way.

And I was broken.

_But I don't have to be_.

_No_!

The lust was just a fleeting thought on her part. I'm a Goddamn fucking vampire. I know I'm good looking, it's how we draw in the prey. She was a young, inexperienced girl with her life probably constantly flashing before her eyes and it probably looked a little bleak and lonely.

It didn't have anything to do with me. Ray was staring down the barrel of a gun and lamenting never being in love. I was just the only male around to lament about.

I didn't like how that sounded either. It really kinda hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

What the hell was I thinking? What was I _doing_ in the middle of Jenta-Knows-Where, with a VAMPIRE?

More importantly, why was I so attached? Why was I letting him get to me?

Jasper had been doing such a good job at blocking out my emotions so as not to react and manipulate them, that I hadn't thought to guard them… but then he reached for me and I couldn't take it. Had I been thinking clearly, I would've roasted him for touching me the night we found out the clans were gone.

But _no_. I was too damned emotional and off my gourd to remember that he was a vampire. I had actually _enjoyed_ being held by him, soothed by him…

Again, what the HELL was I thinking?

Moreover, what the hell was _**he **_thinking?

I'd started out in the dark place… angry, bitter, guilty… alone… and then some little voice in my head told me that I wasn't alone. That I had _Jasper_.

And then embarrassment hit.

Then I started to think… not just about Jasper, but about the fact that in all likelihood, I would not come out of this alive. I'd glanced at Jasper briefly, he was lost in his own little world… but it was everything I could do to keep myself from staring. He was beautiful. I wondered what color his eyes had been before the change and how he would smile at me if he were to take me to bed… I tried, but couldn't stop that thought. I thought of how comfortable and safe I'd felt in his arms, how disappointed I'd been to awake and find myself in the bed.

And then finally, I snapped out of it, affirming that we were friends. If that. Jasper wasn't even human, I told myself. _But he is a man_.

And then the humiliation started as I'd felt his fingers brush across my back as he reached for me and that immediately put a stop to my thoughts. He _knew_. He _knew_! I stormed off as fast as I could, wishing nothing more than to set him alight, but knowing that I couldn't.

Jasper, for all his faults, perceived or otherwise, was a good person. That just made it worse. I'd tell him I was going to bed and then do just that. _Without_ him. That's exactly what I did, minus the sleeping part. I have no idea how long I sobbed or what exactly I was sobbing for… no idea how to control the screams that ripped through my chest, so loud and hard I thought I'd pop a lung.

Somewhere in that time, I fell asleep, but it was fitful… full of golden eyes and strong cool arms cradling me.

When I surfaced the next morning, Jasper was still there, watching me. Even though he couldn't sleep, he looked as though he could use a few days rest. Had I not burrowed deep enough? Then the humiliation of the previous night flooded back and I found myself not caring. I stormed off toward the river to get cleaned up again, watching out of the corner of my eye as he watched me swim the widest part of the river while my clothes sunned themselves dry.

The water was cool and cleansing. I felt the puffiness of my face subsiding as I surfaced and found he'd moved. My eyes scanned quickly and I found him leaning against a tree closer to the bank, his eyes on his shoes.

I hadn't cared when he'd told me how much of me he'd seen. I'd been too lost in the dark place. The better part of reason told me I should send him away so that I could bathe, but the rational part of my brain argued that he'd already seen it all, what did it matter now if he wanted to play protector.

_First man to see it all and the way he acts, you'd think I was a tree._ I thought bitterly. He shifted uncomfortably and I could tell he'd caught that one errant fleeting feeling of disgust mixed with more humiliation.

My bath took longer than usual as I tried to work everything out in my head. I just kept swimming, watching him surreptitiously watch me.

It was good that I was going home. Maybe I could dig out a few cuts of ilder soap, seeing as mine was now gone and the little soaps Jasper had pilfered from a resort cleaning lady were nearly gone as well.

After another hour, I finally resigned myself that I would have to face him eventually. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I tried to leave him, it would end badly for me.

_And you don't really want to leave him, do you_? There was that little voice again, annoying… and right.

I set my jaw and climbed onto the bank, slowly making my way to the flattened boulder where my clothes lay. Jasper's eyes followed me the whole time and I began to feel self-conscious as he scrutinized me so carefully.

I sighed, finished tying my tunic, and marched over to him. His eyes were nearly black. How long had it been since he'd hunted? Yesterday. I marveled. Was something else the matter?

He cocked his head to the side, studying my face, and I could tell he was completely open to my emotions. I glared at him and it seemed to snap him out of his trance.

"Darlin', you and I need to have a talk." He nodded toward my little patch of grass. "Have a sit." And he turned and started toward the shade of the birch tree.

I was frozen. This was _not_ the plan. He turned and watched me expectantly.

"You said we'd go home." There was more accusation in it than I intended, but I was angry all the same.

"And we will." He answered. I held my ground. "Ray," he sighed. "Araya, come sit." Against my better judgment, I did as he asked, coming to rest on my knees in the soft grass. Jasper took a deep, unneeded breath, and began, his eyes on mine. "How much do you know of this world's history?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "The wars? The… the famine?"

"I'm a _Life-Binder_." I reminded him.

"Ray, don't get smart, just—"

I huffed and pushed my hair back off my shoulders. "I know enough… Life-Binders… feel death. The men's journeys into Terra Mystica were always to move the souls, bind them to new life, help the earth recover." I wasn't sure if he'd understand this explanation, but he made no questions.

He simply nodded. "You're far too young to remember the Civil War…" he sighed and his eyes suddenly fell to the ground. "I was twenty…" for the next hour, he told me how he had been turned, how he had lived, how he had _survived_… How he loathed himself because of all that he could feel… and then about Alice.

I winced when he said her name, but he, surprisingly, acted as though he were speaking of an old friend he hadn't seen in a long time… fondly, with a slight reverence… but without any true emotion tied to it.

When he was finished, he watched me apprehensively, and I have to admit, I probably looked a sight. I could feel my brow furrowed, my eyes narrowed. Finally, I gave him the best, most blunt answer I could muster.

"I don't understand why you've told me this."

He gave a mirthless smile and his head rolled back, his face catching a ray of sunlight as it did. "Ray… I am not…" he thought a moment. "I am not a good person." And then his eyes met mine again and he seemed to be silently pleading with me to understand something. What? "I relished the kill, the fresh blood, the carnage." He was watching carefully for my reaction, but I gave him none. "You are a _Life-Binder_." He emphasized the word, drawing it out as though it would give it more meaning.

"I'm aware." I said slowly. I still didn't know which direction this was pointed.

He was frustrated now, his brows knitting into a frown, and he shook his head slightly. Suddenly, he was pulling off his black long-sleeved shirt and moving into the sunlight. Watching him like that was disturbing. Most of his body didn't shine as much as the arm he'd presented for inspection all those weeks ago. The glow was there, the shimmer… but it was stunted… interrupted by a dullness much closer to the surface.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to focus, but the sparkle was distracting. I stood and made my way closer, holding up a hand to show I wasn't going to attack, and he nodded, though I saw discomfort as I stopped right in front of him. I shifted to the side slightly, amending the angle to get the sun on his bare chest again, and then I saw what was stifling the sparkle… _scars_. Hundreds of them, crescent shaped, the whitest of white, flush with the surface of his skin. In some, I could make out individual teeth, while others were crescent strikes against his skin. I felt my eyes widen, though I had meant to show no reaction at all, and Jasper shifted uncomfortably, moving to put his shirt back on.

I held up a hand to stop him, moving my other to lightly trace the outline of a particularly vicious bite mark on his collarbone, and then another at the corner of his mouth. He sighed and grasped my hand gently, though firmly, stopping my tracing and breaking my concentration.

"I'm not whole, Ray. I haven't been for much longer than you realize." I shook my head slowly, not sure what he was getting at. "I'm just…" he sighed. "I'm just saying that you should—"

"Oh for Jenta's sake, Jasper!" I cried, yanking my hand from him. I spun on my heel and headed back toward my patch of grass. I placed my hands on the birch tree, silently willing myself to calm down. I heard him approach and stop a few feet behind me. "Whatever you _think_ you know…" my voice sounded so small. "You _don't_." I knew I was lying… and I knew he knew I was lying. "You don't have to worry. Passing fancy and all, it's _done_."

"Alright then."

Why did he sound so hurt? That's what he wanted to hear, even if it was a lie. That's why he'd bothered to tell me his entire gruesome past, he was trying to scare me, jolt me back to reality. I wasn't a complete idiot. No matter what I felt, or thought I felt, there was just no way.

I sighed. "Can we go now?"

"Do you even know where you're going? I mean… we're in fucking Mississippi." He sounded amused now.

"Doesn't matter where I am, the getting there is the same." I bit out, praying for more patience than I felt at the moment.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as he gathered the backpacks and I stuck my hand out, never looking directly at him. He grasped my hand gently, giving a small squeeze as though to convey something, but I was too wrapped up in keeping him blocked.

He'd been trying to push me away… he wanted me to keep my distance. He wanted me to believe he'd harm me, as he had harmed countless others, but he'd failed… and I couldn't let him know that.

I'd listened to every word he'd said, every detail of his misdeeds… and the only part that _mattered_ to me was that he had cared, he had wanted to stop killing, no matter how difficult it was; no matter that he sometimes lost control. He was disappointed in himself when he failed. That mattered to me.

Not the nameless and faceless people of his past, not the blood on his hands, or the souls my people had shucked away from this world because of him. What mattered was that he cared.

Just like he cared for me, always sure that we had food, that I felt safe wherever I was sleeping for the night, that I knew he was keeping himself sated and under control… the way he'd cared for me the night I'd tried to kill myself.

He cared if I lived or died. And my pain, regardless of whether I blocked him or he blocked me, was hurting him too. That counted for something, right?

Maybe the elders didn't teach me as well as I thought.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

_**Jasper POV**_

I don't know what possessed me to tell her my story, show her the scars… none of it. It was suddenly this burning desire for her to know me. I'd expected her to be scared, or at least have the decency to be disgusted.

I hadn't expected calm and acceptance from her. I hadn't expected raw fascination with the scars either. That was something I'd never experienced before.

Shock, disgust, worry… those I was used to. But Ray had looked at me as though I were Michaelangelo's _David_ come to life before her and I couldn't help the thrill that went through me at that.

But she was angry with me for more reasons than I could count. Not just for reading her feelings the previous night, but for trying to put distance between us now, for trying to talk to her about it when she clearly wasn't ready.

Fuck me sideways, what the hell was I supposed to do here?

Especially when things I hadn't felt since Alice left had come bubbling to the surface as her tiny palm had rested on my chest, her long slender finger tracing one of my scars. Alice had never been fond of the scars and she did her best to ignore them, though I knew that she couldn't. There were times where she thought she had it in check, but I could feel the revulsion at my scars.

Araya didn't care how marred I was. She was just fascinated. It was dangerous for her to be fascinated with me, and she knew it as well as I did. She just didn't seem to care anymore.

When we started burrowing, I expected her to make us horizontal, but instead, she kept hold of my bicep and we descended in some FUBAR'd version of an elevator. We traveled like that for hours, in silence no less, and I was half-tempted to ask her when we would get there when the earth suddenly dropped out from under our feet.

I stood immediately and took in our surroundings. We were in a long shaft, earth above, earth below, and it seemed to stretch on in both directions forever. I glanced at Ray as she laid down in the dirt, a serene smile painted on her face.

"Ray, Sweetheart, I don't think this is the time for a nap."

"I'm not napping, idiot." She replied sweetly. "I have to open the gate." Her eyes drifted closed and as they did, flowers began springing up everywhere around her. Tulips and daisies, a buttercup every so often, daffodils were apparently a favorite. I was so busy watching Ray, enjoying the look of pure serenity and peace on her face… emotions I'd never seen, least of all recently, that I didn't notice a wrought iron gateway rising just beyond where her head lay until she was standing up again. At my questioning look she simply replied, "You have to be a Thomogenic to summon the gate."

I nodded, but then paused, thinking. "How did—"

"I don't know." She knew where I was going. _How did the Volturi manage to get in_? She grasped a hold of the gate and pushed with her full strength. Slowly, it creaked open and we stepped into…

Hell.

That was the only way to describe it. Piles of ash and embers everywhere; trees and bodies burned beyond recognition; pillars of thick black smoke rising into a gray sky. I stopped breathing so that I wouldn't smell it, but Ray didn't have that option and I watched her turn a sickly shade of green at the fumes.

She seemed frozen for the longest time, taking it all in, and I took the time to scan for any threats. When I turned my gaze back to her, she was gone.

_What the shit_?

The girl could sure as hell move when she wanted to. I watched her disappear into a short stack of a building a few hundred yards away. She didn't even stop to consider the fact that it was charred and might not be stable.

_Fuck_.

I tore off after her, stopping in the doorway as she came into view. She was kneeling over a badly burned corpse, one that obviously hadn't been turned. Her panic was back, but so was her rage and grief and she couldn't get a handle on it.

"Ray?" I murmured.

"My brother." She whispered, touching a metal cuff around the right wrist. "Zarien." I watched the tears fall and she sucked in a hard breath and stood. "Where are the kids? Where are they?" and then she was tearing through the house, yanking up a trapdoor covered in dirt and disappearing into a burrow. I followed closely, wanting to make sure if the structure collapsed, she'd be safe. "Caden? Adena? Zorin?" she was yelling, panicked.

I saw the bodies before she did and made to grab her, but I didn't react fast enough. She let out a strangled sob and turned to run, but ran smack into my chest. I did the only thing I could think of and held her to me. We stood like that for some time, her folded into my arms, me rubbing small circles on her back as she shook with grief. All of a sudden I felt overwhelming gratitude radiating from her and she wrapped her arms around my middle, hugging me.

She dropped her arms and proceeded back up into the house and I followed, carefully, not quite sure what she might do in her grief.

"Ray?" I asked timidly as she yanked a drawer loose. When she didn't answer, I asked again, "Ray?"

"I have to find something." Was all she'd give me.

"What are you looking for, Sweetheart?" She shook her head, ignoring me as she yanked another drawer from the cabinet she was currently tearing apart. "Ray, Sweetheart, you need to calm d—" I was suddenly hit by the most intense pain I have ever in my long life experienced. I couldn't even bring myself to whimper, but Ray stopped nonetheless and looked, not at me, but beyond me.

"Well, this is certainly a surprise." A sweet girly voice rang out. Jane. Shit. She floated forward to stand next to me as I writhed in pain on the floor. "Demetri's been searching for you for weeks, and now you're here. We were hoping others of your clan might show up, but we never expected the one with a Cullen to come calling." The pain was easing, but Jane wasn't letting up entirely. She wanted me out of commission.

Unfortunately, Ray was positively vibrating and I could feel the rage coming off her like a tidal wave. "Get away from him." She snarled.

I watched Jane smile. "Make. Me."

Oh shit. I think that was a dare.

The next second, Jane was crashing through the far wall, out into the mess and muck and charred flesh. I stood immediately and Ray and I dashed outside, only to come face to face with Alec and Demetri. Jane soon joined them, brushing dirt and muck off her black robes.

"Jasper," Demetri began. "We don't have to go about it this way. You can go home."

"_Or_," Alec added. "You can join the guard… You can be with Alice again."

A deep growl thundered through my chest and Ray backed up into me, her hand finding mine. I glanced at the ground. _Bare earth_.

"Ray," I murmured, knowing full well there were no secrets here. "Burrow."

"No."

Un-fucking-believable! She picks now to be a rebel? Seriously? Fuck me sideways.

"Burrow. Now."

"Not without you." She was squeezing my hand and I knew that the only way she'd leave was with me… but they'd been here waiting, they had access to the gate… they'd catch up to us.

The torture started again as Jane fixed her gaze on me and I buckled, curling in on myself. Araya dropped my hand and made to engage Jane, but Demetri was on her, pushing her against the wall of the structure.

His mouth was next to her ear, but I heard every word he said as though he were screaming it at me.

"Would you like to know what Felix dreamt of doing to you? I think I can show you… give my dearly departed friend some solace that you've been significantly destroyed before your change." I heard the tearing of cloth and a choked sob and Ray struggling. There was a loud _CRACK_ and my eyes flew open, wondering what bone he'd broken, but it was only the boneplate covering her chest. He dug his nails into the soft flesh of her stomach and she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. And the torture continued and I could do nothing but watch.

Demetri licked her neck, nuzzling her and I _wished_ I could throw up at that, but then I remembered something… something from my very first encounter with Ray.

_Don't piss my girl off_.

So I did exactly that. I flooded her with rage so much so I thought she'd float from it all. Demetri's eyes widened as he realized something was amiss and then he was flying backward, crashing through the forest. Ray's eyes landed on Jane and she was soon joining Demetri in the woods.

"Ray!" I yelled as a fine mist began seeping from Alec, creeping across the ground.

Ray turned and held up her hand. Alec froze, looking as though he were choking, his eyes wide. Clutching a hand to the claw marks on her abdomen, Ray made a motion with the other as though she were yanking a rope and I caught a wisp of something exit Alec's body. As he fell to the ground, he crumbled into dust.

She choked out a sob and lurched forward, grabbing my arm and then we were sinking through the ground again. The adrenaline seemed to have made her forget temporarily about the claw marks gouged into her and she burrowed us back to the gate and then up a fair ways before turning us.

We didn't surface. When she felt we'd gone far enough, she stopped and began widening out a burrow for us.

"Ray," I murmured. "Ray, you're bleeding." That stopped her. She gasped and the next thing I knew, a dirt wall had sprung up between us. "Ray?" no answer. "Ray!" I yelled. I could hear her heartbeat, so I knew we were only separated by a few feet of dirt. "Ray, I didn't say it because you're in danger from me." I called. "Ray, I'm fine… Let me take care of those, get you bandaged up." Still nothing, though her heartbeat seemed to slow a little. "Ray, if I were overcome with bloodlust, you'd know. There'd be less talk and more snapping at you."

Slowly, deliberately, the wall began to slide down a few feet at a time until she was able to peek over it at me. When she was satisfied that I was no danger, the wall came down completely and she staggered backward into the edge of the burrow, sliding down to sit on the floor.

I reached into the orange backpack, suddenly glad I'd thought to put them both on my shoulders this morning, and retrieved a first aid kit Carlisle had thought to pack. I cautiously made my way over to her, deliberately slowing my actions so that she wouldn't perceive an attack.

Her one hand was clutching her stomach, but the other was pulling the sides of her tunic together to shield herself from view. I smiled inwardly at what was to come and immediately felt like a cradle-robbing, emotion-preying pervert.

"You're gonna have to let me see, Ray." I murmured quietly, opening the kit up and retrieving some alcohol swabs and a pressure bandage. She looked away from me, sweat beading on her forehead, and the rolodex of emotions began… prominent among them, embarrassment. I gave her what I hoped was an encouraging smile and gently pushed her hands away, slowly opening the shredded tunic enough to give me access to the wound.

Demetri had taken a chunk out of the boneplate and the jagged edges he'd left were a hazard now. I silently sought her permission, pressing my question with my emotions, and she nodded, refusing to meet my gaze.

I broke the leather strap binding the two sides of bone around her and pulled it from her, throwing it to the side. Her hands ghosted across her chest, covering her breasts as best she could with her arm and hand as I set to work.

"They're not deep." I murmured quietly. "They'll probably scar though." She nodded and I found I had to ask the burning question. "Why didn't you burrow out when I told you to?"

"I wasn't going to leave you." She answered simply.

"Ray, you had a hold of me."

She cocked an eyebrow and her gaze shifted to watch me out of the corner of her eye. "Would you have gone willingly or would you have yanked away from me at the last minute?"

I sighed. Dammit. "I would've yanked away from you." I answered honestly, trying my damnedest to keep my eyes on cleansing her wounds, but it was difficult with her near-bare breasts distracting me.

"That's why I didn't burrow out, Jazz. They were giving you the option to get Alice back and you didn't leave me. How could I leave you?" I stopped and stared at her, my eyes going wide. "What?"

I smiled a little and continued swiping alcohol over the gashes. "You've never called me _Jazz_ before."

I felt confusion from her. "Sorry?" she was asking me if she should be apologizing?

"I like it." I told her, pressing the bandage to her and watching it shrink across the claw marks to pressurize itself.

"Alright." She sighed and made to stand. I helped her up, taking a hold of her arm as she slid up the wall. Embarrassment was flooding her again as her eyes met mine through the overwhelming darkness. Damn vampire sight.

I inhaled deeply. _Shit_. Before I could stop myself, I'd muttered, "Dammit, Ray." And tipped her chin up, pressing my lips to hers. I felt a thrill of excitement that matched my own and she responded, moving her lips with mine as I pressed against her, pinning her to the wall.

It was easier than I expected, remembering to control my strength. I wasn't exactly sure what Edward's problem had been... maybe he just hadn't trusted himself with fragile human Bella, but my Ray…

I liked that. _My_ Ray.

I smiled in earnest, my tongue darting out to caress her lower lip and her heartbeat picked up. I took that as permission, dangerous as it was to assume, and pulled her back to the floor, situating myself against the wall and pulling her into my lap so that she was straddling my legs. I reached for the arm she still had locked across her chest and gently pushed it away, relishing the light caress of her breast as my finger (maybe) slipped a little. She fisted my shirt with one hand, the other snaking up to caress my jaw as I flicked my tongue out to caress her lips again and she opened her mouth to me.

She sighed against my lips and my hands instantly found her hips, pulling her flush against my chest. That seemed to startle her out of whatever world we'd slipped into because I felt the excitement fading from her.

_No. No no no no no_.

She pulled away, but only slightly, and her hand remained on my cheek, drawing lazy circles with her thumb. "Jasper, I can't." she whispered and the embarrassment was back.

"Right." I muttered and it felt like I had something caught in my throat. "Vampire." The word tasted bitter in my mouth.

"No." Say what?

"I _can't_." I watched her bite her lip and swallowed the groan that threatened to escape. Her eyes were pleading with me to understand her meaning and it took me a moment. I guess vampire minds aren't _that_ fast.

My eyes finally widened in understanding. "_Oh_… Ray, no." I murmured, pulling her back to me and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "I have no expectations." I kissed her again. "Well… OK, maybe I'd like a bit more of this… but _beyond_ this…" I shook my head and kissed her again. "I'll follow your lead."

Shock. Pure. Utter. Unadulterated. Shock.

Fuck. Me. Sidways. Hard.

And then she was pulling my mouth back to hers, kissing me with a greater urgency than before, her fingers knotting in my hair as I did my best to pull her as close as possible without crushing her.

_Now I understood Edward's problem_. Got it.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

_**Araya POV**_

Jasper and I stayed underground for the bulk of the next few weeks, only surfacing for me to bathe, get food, and for him to hunt. As much as I wasn't alone before, I was even less so now that we knew Jane was involved. Oddly enough, I didn't seem to mind, and Jasper and I slipped into what he referred to as a "playing house" dynamic. I hadn't understood the meaning, but he had simply kissed me lightly and told me it didn't matter.

On one of our excursions into a town to find food, Jasper managed to find a thermal blanket and travel pillow. The weather was getting colder by the day and soon the earth would begin to freeze. At his insistence, we were pushing further north, heading for somewhere called Denali. All he would say is that we could rest with "them" for a few days.

We surfaced mostly during the day and I tried to get us relatively close to populated areas, knowing that if Demetri and Jane were tracking us, it would be more difficult for them to reach us. At first, Jasper seemed uncomfortable with it, as it seemed the places I chose to stop never had any cloud cover, but I insisted I didn't mind the sparkle.

In fact, I was rather enamored of memorizing his scars… such a vital part of his past deserved to be remembered. The strength, the sheer force of will, deserved to be seen and remembered. If for no other reason than no one had ever been interested in doing so before; but I would do that for him.

I sighed into the half-light as his cool lips pressed into my bare shoulder and he languidly stroked my now healed stomach. I was shocked when he'd decided we could spend the day above ground, but I think it was more my longing than any real sense of security he felt that made him agree. How often does one find a natural spring complete with waterfall? According to Jasper, not often.

So we had taken the opportunity to swim and relax, lounging lazily in a hollowed out cavern nestled behind the waterfall.

"What's going through that head of yours, Ray?" he murmured, his lips grazing my jaw.

I smiled. "You're the empath, you tell me."

He nuzzled into my neck, his palm going flat against my stomach, pressing my back into his chest. "Not a mind reader, Sweetheart."

"But yesterday you said you always knew what I was thinking by how I was feeling." I teased.

He growled a little and nudged my jaw with is nose. "Don't make me toss you in the water."

"You wouldn't dare."

I felt him smile into my neck. "Darlin' do you remember what happened not two hours ago when you said exactly that same thing when I last threatened it?"

I smiled and settled myself even further into his arms. "But I'm comfortable. I need to sleep."

He leaned a little to the side, sticking his hand into the waterfall, and brought it back sharply, splashing me full in the face. I simply smiled and leaned my head back against him. "See… this is why I want to know." He murmured. "You just… are. All I get is this serene sort of peace from you."

"Is that bad?"

"No." he sighed. "It's just… different."

"Skubbly?" I asked, smiling. Jasper had taken to the word instantly one day when I had lapsed into the Old Language. I guess it sounded funny to him, but since then, I'd taken to using it when I wanted him to explain something. He shifted uncomfortably and I brought my hand to rest against his, pressing his palm into my flesh. "Jazz?"

"It's just different, Ray… I don't really know how to describe it…" he began tracing lazy circles with his thumb. "I feel everything you feel… no matter how happy or excited or calm you are… it's always laced with fear and grief." He placed a kiss on the top of my head. "But not today."

"No." I agreed. "Not today."

"So what's going on in your head?" he urged.

I smiled and turned my head and he met my lips eagerly with his own. I felt him tense as he concentrated on controlling the amount of strength he used on me, but I reached back to cup the back of his neck, holding him in the kiss. When we finally broke apart, he rested his cheek against my forehead and I whispered, "You."

"What?" he asked, a little dazed.

"That's what's on my mind. You." I was suddenly overcome with lust and I felt my skin flame. "_Jazz_." I warned.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry… I… I got a little lost in thought there." His lips were against my shoulder again.

"Sure." I teased.

We sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the water cascading down in front of us, shielding us from direct view. Finally, I could feel discomfort creeping up on me and his palm pressed into my stomach again, as though to keep me from running.

"Ray?" I turned my head and looked up at him, letting him know I was listening. "You know this'll only end one of two ways." He murmured.

"Three." I corrected him.

H e sighed. This was a conversation we'd had repeatedly over the past few weeks, but neither of us was willing to concede any ground. Jasper was concerned because I didn't want to die, and there were only two ends he could see… either I was a vampire, or I was truly dead.

I, on the other hand, refused to acknowledge those as the only possible ends. If I could evade capture long enough for the Volturi to find _the_ one, maybe they'd leave me alone. Jasper found that highly unlikely.

"Sweetheart, you know you have a pretty high chance at this point of being the one they're looking for." He murmured in my ear.

"It's _not_ me." I insisted.

Thomogenic vampires were supposed to have been some of the most powerful Thomogenics in their first life. I was no such thing. I wasn't even fully trained for Jenta's sake!

"It could be." He insisted. We'd never made it this far into the argument before. He wasn't going to drop it.

I sighed and leaned forward, pushing myself onto my knees before I turned to face him. "If it is…" I sighed again. I hadn't really thought about it much. I was clinging to the notion that there was no way it was me, but Jasper was refusing to let me cling to it too hard. "If it is me… then you'll kill me." I stated matter-of-factly.

His face hardened and I felt wave after wave of hurt and anger coming off him. "I beg your pardon?" he asked and there was a dangerous undertone in his voice.

A flicker of fear passed through me and I felt him try to calm me. I sighed, pulling him into another kiss before answering. "You'll kill me." I insisted. I heard his jaw crack and he turned his face away. "Jasper," I whispered. "Thomogenic vampires are not like you and the Cullens… or like any other vampire for that matter. They're created. They're mechanical, with no sense of self. They're made to follow orders. They're made to destroy life." I pressed a hand to his chest. "Do you want that for me? Because I won't know you… I won't care who you are… and if the Volturi order me to kill you… I will. Because I won't have a _choice_."

He considered me for a long time, his muscles relaxing a fraction before he shook his head in defeat. "No. I don't want that for you." He said finally. "But I don't want to have to kill you."

"I'll already be dead." I said matter-of-factly and that earned me another round of tension. "Jazz, stop… OK? Just… stop. Be here, with me, right now. Don't be in the future, be _here_." I begged, pressing my lips to his. He sighed, his eyes drifting closed and I could tell he was trying to push thoughts of killing me from his mind. "Hey," I whispered, a sudden idea occurring to me. "You're always invading my feelings… why don't I ever get to feel how you're feeling?"

He raised an eyebrow and a mischievous grin played at his lips, but he never opened his eyes, choosing instead to simply listen to my reaction as wave after wave of lust permeated my being. My skin flamed again, my back arched, and my breathing quickened as Jasper was suddenly there, kissing me fiercely.

It died away quite suddenly and he broke the kiss, smiling a little as I tried to catch my breath. "That's why." He murmured. "Because if you felt what I felt, you wouldn't let me respect your boundaries… and I care too much to do that." He pulled me to his chest again, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead.

I smiled into his neck. "I'm kinda glad I didn't roast you." I whispered.

He chuckled and held me tighter. "Gotta tell you, so am I… for many reasons." He sighed though and I could tell his vampire mind and perfect recall were still struggling with the prospect of killing me. He was searching for a way around what he saw as inevitable.

"Hey, come back to me." He opened his eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm with you."

I shook my head. "You are, but you aren't." he pulled a face at being so easily read.

"I don't…" he trailed off, thinking hard, and I could tell whatever he wanted to say was difficult. He inhaled deeply and finally stated, "I don't want to lose you."

I gave him a wry smile. "I love you too."

Did I actually just say that?

I did.

Shit.

Damn.

And Jasper's personal favorite: FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!

He stared at me, dumbfounded, for what seemed like forever. I shifted uncomfortably and made to stand up and move away from him, but he held me fast, burying his face into my neck. A low rumbling started in his chest and I felt myself flush at the sound, realizing Jasper was _purring_. He inhaled deeply and looked up at me again, all trace of nerves gone.

"I love you." He whispered.

"'Bout damn time, Major."

I was suddenly forced aside as Jasper sprang into a crouch in front of me, his arm extended backward to keep me behind him.

"Chill the fuck out, Jasper. _Shee-it_."

A dark form appeared just beyond the waterfall and I watched the muscles in Jasper's back visibly relax as he came out of the crouch. He took me by the wrist and pulled me to him, tucking me carefully into his side.

"Peter, what in the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

A tall man with ice blond hair and glowing red eyes stepped through the waterfall. He was well-muscled and defined, though not as burly as Emmett; his feet were bare and his jeans were frayed at the hem, but his green button-down shirt, aside from being soaked from the waterfall, was perfect.

He gave Jasper a knowing smirk as his eyes traveled the length of my body and back and I was wholly aware I was in nothing but undergarments. Jasper seemed all-too-aware too, as he tucked me closer in an attempt to hide me against him.

"She's pretty, Major. I like her."

"What do you want, Peter?" Jasper's tone gave no hint of amusement.

The vampire sighed. "You apparently don't have a signal here. You plannin' on camping here longer? Because Jane and Demetri are pretty damn close for you to be pullin' this shit." He rolled his eyes. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd gone soft." He winked at me with that as though to punctuate the sentence and I turned my face to watch Jasper.

"Jazz?" I asked and he relaxed a little.

"We're fine, Darlin'."

"I know we are. Who is he?"

"Shee-it, you'd think you'd a told her 'bout me, _Jazz_." He held out his hand to me and I took it hesitantly. "The name's Peter. Your boy and I go way back."

"Peter's the friend I told you about… the one who came back for me." Jasper murmured into my hair.

I nodded. "I have heard of you."

"All good, I hope." He was using the opportunity to rake his eyes over my body again and Jasper immediately tugged me back to him, a growl echoing around our hiding spot.

"Easy there, Major… I'm just admiring your taste." He winked at me again as he said this.

"How did you find us?" I asked suddenly. _Smooth_. _Real smooth_.

Peter grimaced, but his red eyes caught a mischievous glint about them. "I just sorta… _know_ stuff. Let's leave it at that, Honey."

"I'm not your Honey." I replied evenly, feeling Jasper smiling beside me.

"Sugar?"

"Not even close."

"How 'bout Sweetheart?" his eyes flashed up to watch Jasper's reaction.

"Only _he_ gets to call me that." I gave Jasper's hand a light squeeze.

Jasper sighed. "So you decided to track us down to tell us Demetri and Jane were hot on our heels?"

"No." Peter shook his head. "I came to tell you that about a hundred miles west, just beyond the next range, there's a group of Life-Binding teenagers scrounging around in a cave… Thought you might head that way and give 'em the heads-up to get a move-on."

Jasper tensed. "Sorry, Peter, we're headed north."

I stopped breathing as that comment registered. "Jazz?" I pulled away from him, but he kept a hold on my hand. "If there are others out there, I need to find them." I said it as firmly as I could manage, but even I didn't want to move on to Demetri's next target site.

"Ray, I understand you wanting to find other Thomogenics out there, but _my_ concern is keeping _you_ safe." His eyes pleaded with me to understand but I was flooded with uncertainty. "Ray?" he pleaded again.

"I think she heard you just fine, Major."

"_Shut-up_, Peter!" Jasper snarled and Peter backed up, his heels hitting the ledge.

I felt my head shaking before I even knew what I was doing. "I can't leave them out there. Not with Demetri tracking them down."

Peter sighed. "Well then, you've just saved my ass. I was afraid there for a minute I'd have to go and do it myself and that wouldn't have a good outcome, I'm sure." He tapped his temple and winked at me. "Much obliged, Darlin'."

"That one's his too." I muttered, nodding to Jasper.

"Well, maybe he'll let me play with ya a little and—"

"Peter!" Jasper's yell was so loud that as it echoed around the cavern we heard birds at rest beyond the waterfall suddenly take flight, startled out of their security.

He held up his hands. "All's I came to tell ya is what I've told ya. Now if ya don't mind, Charlotte's waiting for me back in Forks."

"You've been to Forks?" Jasper asked suddenly. We hadn't heard from the Cullens since our run-in with Demetri and Jane.

"Yeah… we've been runnin' reconnaissance, trying to track down the other clans. Emmett and Rosalie were out in the wilds for a few weeks… managed to track down a few Thomogenics, but couldn't gain their trust… and Demetri and Jane weren't far behind." He added the last part grimly and I discerned all I needed to know. With a huff, he nodded his goodbye and said as farewell, "I'd clear out within the next few hours. They'll be stomping this ground somewhere around sundown." And then he disappeared back through the waterfall and was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: OK, I hope I'm not asking much here, but I really would like more reviews. I know this story is not a normal 'ship and that because of that, most people are skipping it entirely, but I do check the traffic on this and I've got quite a bit… people just aren't reviewing which makes me worry and not want to continue. So please, if you like it, tell me. I'm posting between 2800-3500 words a chapter here, all you have to do is write me a sentence. Heck, put a /like in there if that's all you want, but give some love people. **** Thanks.**

11.

_**Jasper POV**_

Peter cleared out quickly once he realized he'd gotten on the bad side of my temper. If anything, he should've known to address the other Thomogenics with me before mentioning them to Ray. I couldn't guarantee the safety of the others and if they were with us, it made it less likely I'd be able to keep Ray safe. If the others were with us, Demetri would only have one path to take instead of several.

But she was determined and I wouldn't win the argument. I'd begged and pleaded with her to reconsider as we dressed but she would barely even look at me and the only emotion I could get from her was resolve.

As I finished stuffing the last of our things into the backpacks, I caught her watching the sun as it slowly made its descent in the sky. Her panic shot through the roof and I took her hand carefully, nodding for her to burrow.

For another several hours, we burrowed in silence and when she was ready, she stopped and began widening out a burrow for us while I dug out the lantern and batteries. She turned on her heel, facing my back as I dug around for the can of tuna that was to be her dinner, and gasped so suddenly that I spun into a crouch, expecting a threat.

What I found was Ray, her mouth agape, her hand partially obscuring it, her eyes wide, staring at me. Just Ray.

"Sweetheart?" I asked slowly, but she seemed to not be registering me at all. "Araya?" I moved at vampire speed to her side, feeling no small amount of fear from her, tinged with shock and awe. "Araya?" I said again, shaking her gently.

She snapped out of it quickly, giving a start and looking up at me with wide eyes. "Huh? Nothing." I cocked an eyebrow at her and she knew I knew she was lying. "It's nothing, Jazz. Just… a random thought occurring to me." My eyes narrowed marginally. Still lying. "It's nothing, Jazz. Don't worry about it." She waved me off and turned to start shuffling the dirt into a bed.

"That'd be a whole helluva lot easier if you weren't lyin' to me." I grumbled.

"It's nothing." She repeated, carefully avoiding my gaze.

"Dammit, Ray!" I yelled, forcing her to jump. "I'm here, aren't I? I'm fuckin' here, against my better judgment, which by the way is telling me I should haul your scrawny ass in the opposite fuckin' direction because this idea you've got of joining up with the rest of them is going to get you _killed_! But I'm here, and I'm letting you take point because I know you need that from me right now! So dammit, cut the horse shit and tell me what the hell is up!" she was mid-cringe, just curled in on herself, and I instantly regretted my outburst. "Ray," I sighed, putting a hand on her hip and pulling her to me. "I'm sorry."

"I know." She murmured softly. "But I still can't tell you." I tensed and she rushed on with "I can't tell you because I don't _know_."

I pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "What do you mean you don't know?"

She sighed. "I don't know what it means… and until I do… I think it's probably best that I not say anything." I watched her carefully. She was unsure, but she wasn't lying that time. "Jazz, please just trust me." She pleaded. I nodded and went back to preparing her dinner.

After she'd eaten, she began digging through the clothes Esme had packed until she found a short-sleeve shirt and a pair of cotton pants. She pulled up a wall between us to dress which disappointed me more than I cared to admit. She was back to being modest and I was afraid my outburst had caused it.

Over the past several weeks, she hadn't much cared what I saw, seeing as how I already knew what she looked like naked. I'd memorized every detail of her tattoos, every zig and zag of the marks Demetri had left, there hadn't been any real need for modesty anymore.

And I think the imp in her liked to tease me. She knew I had a fascination with seeing as much of her skin as possible, knew that I found it to be one of the most erotic things in our tiny little world…

_She wouldn't punish me for yelling at her, would she_?

_No_. _She's not the type_.

I reconsidered that one for a minute. Ray would shut down as a coping mechanism. Maybe I'd scared her.

As the wall came down, I tried to push out as much love and affection to her as I could and she gave me a small smile and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek before taking her blanket and pillow back to her mound of dirt.

Well if that didn't bite the tit…

"Ray, you OK?" I asked tentatively, suddenly afraid we were somehow back to our roasting days.

"I'm fine. Why?" she wasn't completely oblivious. The spike in her heart rate told me that. She sighed and sat back up, patting the space next to her. I moved to her side quickly and was surprised as she grasped the front of my shirt and pulled me into a scorching kiss. "You going to hold me tonight?" she whispered into my lips and the only thing I could do was nod like an idiot.

After our first kiss, I'd taken to laying with her at night, holding her, bringing her comfort both from my presence and from my power, but as the weather had turned colder, it hadn't been healthy for her to have me pressed against her.

I laid down next to her, shifting my left arm to rest my head on it and wrapping my right arm around her, pulling her to me. "I love you." I whispered, stroking her hair.

"Mmm." She was already dozing lightly and I smiled at that. She hadn't been sleeping well recently. I think the stress of the entire situation was finally catching up with her and I silently worried that our more… _delicate_ situation wasn't helping matters any.

What was she going to do if we found the other Life-Binders? I couldn't very well waltz into their camp. Araya had known Edward, Emmett, and I for what we were from the start, so surely they would too. Would she go in alone? Would they allow her to return to me?

I sighed and did my best to project happiness and contentment while silently worrying over why she'd felt the need to lie to me. Apparently I wasn't doing a very good job of keeping my worry reigned in, however, as after about three hours, Ray shot straight up in a panic.

"I don't want to die, Jasper!" she cried as I pulled her into my lap and began stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry." She whimpered into my chest.

"For what, Sweetheart?" I asked, suddenly confused.

"For everything…"

That struck a nerve.

"Don't apologize." I stated firmly. As she was about to protest, I continued. "If you apologize for _everything_, then you're apologizing for _this_." I hooked her chin with my index finger and pulled her mouth to mine, smiling as she inhaled sharply and her lust fell on me like a ton of bricks. I did my best to calm her down and she groaned a little at my stifling her feelings, which didn't help _my_ situation any. "Ray, you know the deal. You don't get the motor going unless you're takin' the truck for a spin." I growled playfully.

She smiled and kissed me tenderly. "You know, I still don't get what you mean by that, right? Hello? Tree-huggin', dirt-lovin', elf-person here. What is a motor? And why does it run?" I knew if I told her, she'd blush, but the ornery son of a bitch in me (not to mention the aroused _man_ in me) wanted her to, so I leaned down and whispered very slowly in her ear. I felt the heat rise in her face and she simply whispered, "Oh." Before burying her face in my chest and giggling.

I smiled as she quaked with laughter and brushed my lips against her forehead. "Ray? I'm sorry I yelled earlier." I ran my fingertips up and down her spine and the atmosphere changed dramatically. While her body reacted with pleasure, arching her back and pressing against me, her panic rose at the same time. "I'm sorry." I said again, instantly worried.

"It's OK. I told you it was OK." She kissed my neck and I nodded, absentmindedly stroking her back, _up… down… up… down_. And the panic rose and so did the pleasure.

It wasn't about my yelling.

It was about something she wasn't telling me.

I slowly, deliberately, caught the hem of her shirt on my fingertips so that my hand could easily slide under the thin fabric and began tracing her spine again. _Up… down… up… down_… and the panic rose even higher, this time overpowering the pleasure entirely.

"Araya, what the hell is wrong? You're gonna send us both into hysterics." I could feel her trying to get a grip on herself, but she didn't answer me. "Ray?"

"Shhh." She whispered. "You said you'd trust me, Jasper."

I sighed. "Darlin' you need to give me something here. I'm freakin' out." She simply smiled and pulled me into another kiss, forcing as much love and adoration at me as she could muster and I instantly relaxed, laying back and pulling her on top of me, refusing to release her lips.

When I finally let her breathe, she whispered breathlessly, "It's nothing to worry about… just something I need to figure out." She stroked my cheek thoughtfully and I turned my head to plant a kiss on the heel of her hand. "Jazz, I mean it. Stop worrying. I was just caught off-guard. I'll figure it out."

I pushed some worry toward her, gripping her hips firmly as I did so because she made to roll off me. "Araya, I just don't want this part to be what's bugging you." I pulled her hand to my chest, pressing her palm over the spot where my heart was _not_ beating.

"No, Jazz, that's not it." She whispered and I was suddenly bathed in her regret that the thought had crossed my mind. She kissed me tenderly. "I love you." She affirmed, pressing her palm into my chest. I smiled at that and let her go back to sleep.

She awoke several hours later and I could feel her tension and worry as we surfaced and headed for the other Thomogenics. I was disappointed in them. I could've tracked them the entire way just going off a scent trail.

"They're on foot. They're not burrowing at all." I said, hitching Ray higher onto my back. "It's a dumb move."

Ray nodded against my shoulder. "They're on foot so they can stay together. You can't burrow more than two people… if there's more than two, which Peter made it sound like there were, they wouldn't be able to stay together." She explained.

I shook my head. "Then they should've split off at least in two's, if not completely separate." I grunted as I took us over a large fault in the already uneven ground.

"Jazz," she warned but I shrugged indifferently. "We're in a world we don't understand."

"Better to be alive without a clue than dead with friends."

I knew I was being an ass. I knew she was worried for the safety of others, but it just didn't jive with the long-term plan of _Don't Die_. But what could I do? This was what she wanted and I would do anything to make her happy… and I sure as hell didn't want to cross her.

I was also silently wondering if Peter had told us all he knew or if there was actually more to the story. He'd given me a look as though there was more he wished he could tell me, but couldn't afford to alter the outcome. That only served to piss me off.

We stopped to give Ray a rest around midday and she stretched timidly. I could tell just by her stance that her muscles had locked up from having to be carried over the rocky, unstable terrain, but her stress level told me it wasn't the only cause.

As she stretched her arms over her head once more, I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to me, loving the squeak of surprise she gave as my lips found her neck. She was in the pink tank top again… and I loved that it left so much of her exposed to me. I nuzzled her neck and listened as her heartbeat sped up.

"We could just burrow down… procrastinate a little…" I murmured, knowing full well she wouldn't do it.

"Jazz…" she turned her face to mine and gave me a quick peck on the lips, but I wouldn't let her get away that easily. I held her fast, refusing to let her lips leave mine.

I heard him approaching long before he knew we were there, but his smell was all human so I didn't bother breaking our contact. His emotions however were a mixture of fear and tension, and I knew exactly when he laid eyes on us because they immediately turned to revulsion.

_Dammit_.

"Araya!" he barked and both our heads shot up to see the tall raven-haired teen standing before us.

Araya's shoulders tensed and relaxed in my grip and then she was pulling away from me, running into his outstretched arms.

"Evander!" she cried and leapt into his arms. "Are you OK? Where is everyone? Who's with you?" she was asking, but Evander's eyes were locked on me and the spark of recognition was possibly about to cost me my life. "Evan? Evan!" Ray snapped her fingers in front of his face.

His eyes drifted back to her slowly. "You're traveling with one?" he accused.

"This is Jasper Hale… part of the Cullen vampires my great-grandmother told us about." She explained, but Evander's eyes were still hard as he appraised me.

"You're _kissing_ one." This time, his words were laced with disgust.

Ray's eyes flicked to me and I could tell we were walking a dangerous line with him. "Jasper and I—" she started, but he grabbed her arm and whipped her around. I fell into a crouch and let a growl tear through my chest. "Jasper, no!" she cried out and I cut off the growl, but refused to stand again.

Evan grabbed the thick curtain of Ray's hair and shoved it over her shoulder, pushing her head down so that her chin met her chest and I let out a low rumbling growl as her face contorted in pain. He let out a soft hiss, his face enraged, and he shoved her back to me.

"You've claimed _him_?" he motioned at me.

Huh?

Claimed?

Lost in translation.

Sprechen ze Life-Binder?

"Evan—" Ray started again, but he cut her off.

"Did you give up your—"

"_No_!" she yelled, turning to face him again, and it was at that moment I realized what he'd been looking for. The tattoo that normally trailed Ray's spine was gone.

Claimed me? I reached back surreptitiously and placed a hand on the back of my neck. Starting at the base of my skull and traveling down _my_ spine, I could feel the slightly raised design of the tattoo. That's what had startled her last night. She'd turned and come face-to-face with her tattoo on my back.

Well, now what the hell did this mean?

"_Prove it_." He dared.

Ray sighed and stuck her hand out to me to bring me forward. "Jasper, lift your shirt. Let him see your ribs." She whispered.

"Why? Can't you show him yours?"

She shook her head. "The marks on my ribs would copy themselves to yours, not fade from mine."

Lovely.

Sick, twisted, psycho elf magic.

Got it.

Great.

I lifted my black linen shirt and he seemed somewhat appeased, I could feel him relax marginally, but then the scowl was back and his eyes hardened at me as though he were appraising a threat. He held out a hand to her but as he did, I slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her flush against my side.

"She's not _yours_, animal!" he barked and I simply lifted my lip in a sneer.

"She's not _yours_, either." I retorted and I instantly felt Ray tense beside me, stress rolling off her so fast it almost knocked me over. My eyes flew to her and she was staring at the ground. "Ray?" my voice sounded so small.

Now Evander was sneering. "Didn't she tell you?" my eyes narrowed at his obvious joy at my ignorance. "Before the attack from _your_ kind, she and I were to be married… the next day."


	12. Chapter 12

12.

_**Araya POV**_

"Didn't she tell you? Before the attack from _your_ kind, she and I were to be married… the next day."

FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!

Me.

Sideways.

How did everything go pear-shaped so quickly?

I could feel Jasper's grip on me tighten minutely.

"Ray?" he murmured, but my eyes were wide, staring at Evander as he reveled in bringing this crashing down about my ears.

Evan and I had never been fond of each other. No, that's not right. Evan and I had _loathed_ each other for the better part of our lives. He and I had been betrothed at birth, as was custom, and he was humiliated to learn that while he was not a pyrokinetic, his bride-to-be was. He'd never been particularly kind, but that revelation brought out a whole new definition of cruelty in him.

"Ray?" Jasper asked again.

I took a shuddering breath and replied the only way I could think. "That was _then_, Evan."

He nodded, his lip curling into the sneer. "Right… because now it doesn't matter right? Our race is practically wiped off the map and you're taking up with a _vampire_."

That struck a chord.

Our race was…

_No_.

Evan didn't care if he didn't have me. He just didn't want me out there somewhere with a vampire.

"_Jenta's grace_, if your brothers could see you now. A vampire's whore." Jasper moved toward him but Evan raised a hand and I reacted instinctively, forcing Evan backward and pulling Jasper backward so that I could block him from Evan's attack.

"You won't kill him." My voice was stern, commanding, and certainly more confident than I felt. Evan was older, he had more training.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you going to stop me?" his eyes flashed over my shoulder to Jasper and I heard him go rigid.

"Evan, stop it!" I screamed. Before I knew what I was doing, I had kicked out at him with such a force a tongue of fire crossed the twenty feet between us and scorched his shoulder. Jasper audibly relaxed.

"Come with me and he can live."

I felt a wave of panic and turned my head slightly. Jasper was staring at me, his eyes mimicking the panic he was sending me.

"I'm not going to say it again, Araya." He warned.

"Ray." It was strong, and for once, it wasn't directed at me. I turned to see Jasper standing tall, glaring menacingly at Evander.

"What?" he asked.

"Her _name_ is Ray." Jasper answered.

I heard Evan inhale sharply and there was a brief pause. I knew he was weighing his options. Could he kill Jasper before Jasper could get to him? And if he attacked, would I help Jasper? As I turned back to face Evan, his eyes landed on me again.

"I will kill him, Araya. I know you don't want that."

"Stop it, Evan. He hasn't done anything but help me! He's kept me alive."

"And that means nothing if you don't rejoin your people!" he scolded. "We need you! I am the elder and you will follow my lead!"

I cringed at his tone and took a step back. Jasper was there to meet me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me to his chest. I placed my hands over his, resting on my hips, as though to keep him from running.

We traded dark looks for several long moments before he finally sighed and I thought I'd won.

_Right_.

"Fine, Araya." He huffed. "Have it your way."

Jasper suddenly went rigid behind me and I spun in his arms to see cracks slowly starting to form at his major joints.

"Stop! Evan, stop it _now_!" I screamed and I turned once again and knocked him backward. He collided with a boulder and I spun to Jasper, but as I laid hands on him, Evan began again and Jasper's wide eyes found me as he strained against Evan's powers. "Stop! _No no no no no_!" I screamed. "I'll go with you! Evan, I'll go with you, just _stop_!" and just as quickly as it had started, it ceased and Jasper stared at me, wide-eyed, as though I'd betrayed him.

Evander gave a huff of victory. "Say your good-byes." I heard him stalk off in the direction he'd come from, but I knew he wouldn't go far.

I sunk to my knees, cupping Jasper's cheeks in my hands as he pressed his forehead to mine and I couldn't stop the tears that sprang forth, streaming down my cheeks.

"You should've let him kill me." He muttered, his eyes closed. "I can't just watch you walk away with him."

"You have to." I whispered back.

He shook his head defiantly and even though he couldn't cry, he was projecting all of his devastation onto me so that I would know. "I can't… You're going to…" he shook his head again and I knew what he was thinking as he clutched at his ribs.

I slid my right hand down the side of his neck and gently stroked the slightly raised markings now present on his spine. "But I _chose_ you." I whispered. "I _love_ you." I pressed my lips to his and he gathered me up in his arms, pulling me as close as he could. When we broke apart, I hugged him tightly and murmured, "I will _always_ be yours."

His grip on me tightened minutely. "I love you, Ray."

"I love you too." I whimpered and we stood.

He took a deep, shaky breath and held my hands in his, his thumbs tracing lazy circles on my palms. "Convince them to split up… you'll all be safer that way. Convince them to burrow… stick to the surface only for short periods and only during the day time." I nodded. "If you run into the Volturi, remember what happened with Demetri… force them back and run… don't try to pick a fight if I'm not there to back you up." He gave me a small, sad smile as he reminded me of the first time we'd ever fought side by side.

"I won't."

"I mean it." He warned.

"I know you do."

Jasper pulled me to him again, lifting me so he could kiss my neck, my shoulder, every inch of skin he could reach as I sobbed into his neck. When he sat me down again, he placed his palm over my heart and just stood there.

"What are you doing?" I whispered and I couldn't control the small smile that spread across my face.

"Shhh…" he hissed. "I'm memorizing." I waited as he closed his eyes and a serene smile crept across his face as he felt my heartbeat.

"_ARAYA_!" Evander bellowed warningly from somewhere out of sight.

Jasper opened his eyes and I felt our collective sadness wash over me.

"I love you." I whispered again, standing on my toes to give him one last quick kiss. As I made to pull away, however, he caught me by the wrist and pulled me back to him.

"Just burrow. We can burrow out and—" his eyes widened as I shook my head.

"If I disobey an elder… the next time I am found, I'll be killed… and Evander would never stop hunting me." I pressed my lips to his again. "I have to go." He released me and I could see the desperation passing through his eyes. "I love you, Jazz."

"I love you, Ray." He made a move as though he were coughing and my eyes welled up at him stifling his sobs for me. When he finally composed himself he whispered, "This is _not_ the last time I'll kiss you." He placed a tender kiss on my mouth. "I promise."

I turned and ran before I could lose my nerve and I didn't want to let out the sob that was pressing against the seams of my chest with Jasper so close. I didn't want him to hear me. I continued running even after I passed Evander until I knew I was a safe distance away.

And then I broke.

I sunk to my knees and curled in on myself and sobbed, waiting for Evander to catch up. He was taking his time, which made me think he was quite enjoying my pain.

_Bastard_.

I shuddered to think what must be going through Jasper's head.

I had left him.

Not like Alice, who had essentially no choice in the matter.

No.

I had left him. Of my own volition.

_To save him_.

But did he see it that way?

Did he understand?

Would he forgive me? Ever?

Would I ever forgive myself?

_Probably not_.

Before I could stop myself, I'd leapt to my feet and begun kicking wildly at anything and everything, scorching the brush, dirt, and rocks. It didn't help. I wanted something… some_one_ to feel my pain as acutely as I did. I wanted to be angry and fight and cry and sob, but I knew the devastation wouldn't bring Jasper back.

He was probably cutting across the land, giving Demetri and Jane a wide berth, so that he could get back home. My heart sunk.

And then it hit me. My whole reason for leaving him, cutting him loose: Demetri and Jane. I sighed and plopped down in the dirt as Evander continued to make his way toward me. I turned my head a fraction and called over my shoulder, "Demetri is tracking us all. He has one with him called Jane, who has the power to torture with her mind." He didn't respond. "Why have you all stayed above ground? You should've been burrowing."

Instead of answering me, when he reached me, Evander grabbed the hair at the back of my head and yanked me to my feet. I did my best to stifle a cry of shock and pain. He may have been the elder, but he'd never have gotten away with this treatment at home.

"You don't question my decisions." He hissed in my ear. "Until you get the stench of vampire off you, you don't _breathe_ unless I tell you too." he shoved me forward and I lost my footing, landing hard on my right side. "Get up, Araya. Get up and move."

I stood, alright. I stood and kicked out at him, but he nimbly dodged the lash of fire, spun, and kicked out at me. Even without the fire, it hurt, and I reeled backward, barely clinging to my life-force. Another part of my training I hadn't mastered… I couldn't bind a life-force through any means other than my hands. Evander could effectively fight. Unless I wanted to die a lot sooner, I would have to follow orders.

I stood again and faced him, bowing my head in my defeat. I could almost feel the sneer crossing his lips, but I kept my rage to myself.

"Where's your tunic?" he finally asked.

Funny. I'd have thought that would've been the start of the conversation, but apparently the egregious mistake had been kissing Jasper.

"It was torn to shreds in a fight with Demetri." I answered evenly, shifting my eyes to a rock at Evander's feet.

He seemed to accept this. "Your boneplate?"

"Destroyed." I huffed and met his eyes. "I wouldn't be wearing this if it weren't absolutely necessary, Evan."

That wasn't entirely the truth.

I had let Jasper think that I had intended to rejoin them because his desperation had made him more willing to do what I wanted in order to keep me with him. I had actually only intended to deliver a warning and leave. How stupid was I to think that any of them would've let me leave again? Especially on the arm of a vampire.

I stifled my chagrin at that thought. They didn't know Jasper as I did, they didn't trust him implicitly as I did. I couldn't expect them to. But it didn't make what I'd had to do in order to keep him alive any easier. Leave him to keep him alive, hurt him to save him.

But Evan didn't need to know these things.

"Evan, who else escaped?" I whispered.

He considered me for a moment and I could feel his gray eyes boring into me, considering me. I wasn't to be trusted anymore. I had taken up with a vampire and resisted returning to what remained of my clan. The fact that I wasn't dead yet was either a testament to their need for me or Evan's reluctance to kill his mandated mate. Which, I'm not sure, but it made it no less agonizing. I would've rather died than think of Evan's hands on me… perhaps this was my punishment for being so short-sighted in my long-term _Don't Die_ plan.

He finally relented and let out a sigh. "Arianne, Devon, Davin, Ada, Shaun, and Corin."

_Ari_… Arianne was my cousin through my father's brother. She was fourteen. I choked on the bile that threatened to present itself. She wasn't even the youngest. She had our family's trademark red hair but her eyes were a deep rich earthy brown. She was much taller than I was, even for being so young.

Devon and Davin were the twin sons of Patro, one of the elders. They were the youngest of his twenty children, at fourteen. They were both sandy-haired with matching gray eyes and freckles

Ada was Ari's cousin through her mother's brother. She was small and plump with light brown hair and blue eyes. I didn't know much else about her, she was only twelve.

Shaun was Evander's younger brother, thirteen years old, and betrothed to Ada. He looked like a younger, smaller version of Evander, without the evil sneer and attitude that went with it.

Corin was the only other pyrokinetic in the group, but she wasn't even trained as well as I was. She was the twenty-fifth out of twenty-seven children of Elder Astran, and had her father's black hair and green eyes. She was only eight.

Essentially, only a few of us who'd been in the forest that day had made it out.

I silently mourned for the loss of my older brother, Kaiban, my friend Zooey, and the youngest of us that was out there, Vallan. All good, decent people. All gone.

I barely noticed Evander speaking to me again, and slowly nodded my head though I'd missed most of what he had said. He raised an eyebrow at me and asked if I'd heard, and I shook my head.

"I said that I won't lie for you. You'll tell everyone _exactly_ where you've been and who you've been with. We'll decide together whether or not _somkar_ is in order."

Somkar.

Even the name sucked.

In the Old Language, it was considered to be a mercy killing when one had dishonored themselves. If they decided to kill me, I would be the first female ever killed for Somkar.

_Well, isn't that just special_?

I nodded slowly and began following Evander up the cliff face toward the cave where everyone was waiting.


End file.
